Holding on and letting go
by LexieBelikova
Summary: Will love conquer all? What will Rose do when Dimitri decides that its best for both of them if he leaves... And how will he handle her secret? How will everyone else take her secret? And are they both strong enough to protect those that need protecting the most?
1. Chapter 1

"Roza, do you have any idea how much i love you?" His smooth accented voice whispered in my ear.

"mmmm not as much as i love you." I whispered back, smiling into his neck where i nuzzled my head.

I clutched him tighter to me, it wasnt very often we got to be like this, in fact we never got to be together like this. Since our night in the cabin and the attack on the academy, which thankfully neither of us was hurt in, we have been keeping our distance so that no one would catch on to our relationship before graduation. The most we would do is steal gazes from across the room, and the occasional heated kiss behind the gym. Alberta and Kirova had tightened dorm security so there was a guardian on every floor every night, so sneaking into eachothers rooms was out of the question. Alot of novices had taken up extra training practices, so we were never alone in the gym anymore. So this moment, as we lay wrapped in eachothers arms on my bed was like complete magic.

"Do you regret it?" he asked after another moment of silence. Breaking me out of my reverie.  
"Regret What?" I questioned, lifting my head so that i could see his face,

"What we did in the cabin?" The look on his face told me he wanted the truth, there was a little hesitance like he thought my answer could hurt him.

"No. Not one bit. I wish it had happened under better circumstances, but it was us. Me and you. It felt right and it still does feel right, i dont regret it one little bit." I said, getting lost in the swirling brown depths of his eyes.  
"Me either." His smile was just as dazzling as ever, but just as quickly as it appeared it disappeared, his face turned somber, "but Roza, what about our charges? I dont think we can truly protect them if we continue with out relationship... like ive said before If something were to happen and you and my charge were in mortal danger... who would i choose? i couldnt live with myself if i let you die... but i couldnt live with myself if i let my charge die either... ive already been through that once, with Ivan, i couldnt handle it again." He whispered, his eyes were closed as he struggled with the onslaught of memories and emotions that must have come down on him.

"It wont happen. I would never put myself in that kind of danger, and i can handle myself, i would never put you in that situation. Your charge would come first... just like i would have to put Lissa first." I replied, running my finger along his cheek as i spoke.

"See... Rose, thats what i mean. You would 'HAVE" to put Lissa first... when you first came back to the academy you were so set in your guardian role that you would have protected Lissa with your life without a second thought... but now... you would choose, you would hesitate if you had to choose me or her... i couldnt live with that either, i couldnt live with myself if you chose me over her." He started to sit up.

"Dimitri..." I spoke, i couldnt help the fear that crept its way into my voice. I could see what he was doing, he was shutting himself off from me, he was trying to break off our relationship because of our jobs.

"Roza, I love you with all my heart, you are like the other half of my soul... but i cant risk it, WE cant risk it. I wish we could be together... i wish we could love freely, but its just not that easy. We... we cant do this anymore." as He spoke, i looked at him, Lifting myself into a sitting position as he stood off the bed and walked slowly towards the door.

"What are you doing Dimitri?" I asked in a whisper, i was dreading his answer. I already knew what he was planning without him having to say it, i could see the decision in his eyes, but i needed to hear it, I needed to hear him say it.

"Im... im going away. Im going to leave so that you can focus on Lissa." He replied turning the handle to my door and pulling it open the tiniest bit. He glanced back at me,and i watched as a single tear slipped from his eyes, "I will always Love you my Roza. Please, please always remember that." He whispered before turning and walking out the door for the last time.

I spent the rest of the night sitting in the same position, staring at the same spot at the door where i had watched him leave. Leave me, leave his love, his heart, his soul...and more. I believed him when he said he loved me, a little part of me knew that what he was doing was possibly for the best in the long run, but my heart wanted to scream and cry and run after him. But instead i just sat there, letting the tears fall, leaving salty wet streaks down my cheeks. I was there for hours, the sun had gone down long ago and i could hear people down on the field, i could hear people laughing and talking, it felt foreign to me. How could the world be moving on when i felt like time had frozen for me, like i would never be able to move on from this.

I finally gathered my thoughts, wiped my eyes clean and grabbed my guitar. Not many people knew that i could play, or that i could sing, it was something that i kept mostly to myself, it was a way that i used to channel my emotions and get them out before they built up. I took it up to the top of the dorm building and onto the roof, going to the corner of the ledge i sat down, dangling my legs over the side.

I could see groups of people sitting around, or walking to the cafeteria. I wiped the few tears that cascaded down my cheeks again as i began to play a tune. It was a sad song, but it felt perfect in this moment, i started singing softly but as it came to the chorus, all the pain and anguish i felt came up and my voice grew louder with the emotions.

_Looking out from underneath, fractured moonlight on the sea  
Reflections still look the same to me, as before i went under,  
And its peacefull in the deep, the Cathedral where you cannot breathe,  
No need to pray, no need to speak, now i am under all_

_And it's breaking over me  
A thousand miles down to the sea bed  
Found the place to rest my head  
Never let me go,Never let me go,  
Never let me go, Never let me go_

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me  
And all this devotion was rushing out of me  
In the crushes of heaven for a sinner like me  
But the arms of the ocean delivered me_

I watched below me as i sung, i saw him as soon as he stepped out of the staff building. His soft brown hair tyed at the back of his neck, his arms rippling underneath the black duster that billowed out behind him as he walked. I noticed the duffle bag he had clutched in one hand and as he got closer i knew he could hear me. He looked all around him, trying to find the source of the music before looking up and locking eyes with me. I kept singing,

_Though the pressure's hard to take_  
_It's the only way I can escape_  
_It seems a heavy choice to make_  
_And now I am under all_

_And it's breaking over me_  
_A thousand miles down to the sea bed_  
_Found the place to rest my head_  
_Never let me go,Never let me go_  
_Never let me go,Never let me go_

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me_  
_And all this devotion was rushing out of me_  
_In the crushes of heaven for a sinner like me_  
_But the arms of the ocean delivered me_

_And it's over_  
_And I'm going under_  
_But I'm not giving up_  
_I'm just giving in_  
_I'm slipping underneath_  
_So cold and so sweet_

_And the arms of the ocean so sweet and so cold_  
_And all this devotion I never knew at all_  
_In the crushes of heaven for a sinner released_  
_And the arms of the ocean delivered me_

I watched as his perfect guardian mask slipped off his face, leaving his emotions clear on his face: Pain, anguish, frustration, fear and love. His eyes shone and i knew he was trying his hardest not to let the tears fall. He had stopped walking below the building and just stood there with his eyes locked on mine. When the song was done he slowly raised one hand and put it to his lips, then he moved it and placed it over his heart.

I knew he believed he was doing this for the best, that he believed it was the only way that we would be able to protect them properly. I started strumming another tune as he continued to walk away towards the academy airstrip, towards the little plane that was waiting on the runway. I sang my next song louder, hoping that he could still hear me,

_Is anybody out there? Is anybody listening?_  
_Does anybody really know? If it's the end of our beginning,_  
_A cry, A rush, From one breath_  
_Is all we're waiting for_  
_Sometimes the one we're taking_  
_Changes every one before_

_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't_  
_It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed_  
_Some prayers find an answer_  
_Some prayers never know_  
_We're holding on and letting go_

_Sometimes we're holding angels_  
_And we never even know_  
_Don't know if we'll make it, But we know,_  
_We just can't let it show_

_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't_  
_It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed_  
_Some prayers find an answer_  
_Some prayers never know_  
_We're holding on and letting go_  
_Yeah, letting go_

He had stopped at the top of the plane stairs to turn back and look at me, i knew he was feeling in as much pain as i was at leaving, but he had more will than me, i knew that once he was gone, he probably wouldnt be back... i stood up with my guitar in hand and placed the other on my stomach. I knew something that he didnt, the one thing that would have probably made him stay, but the minute he decided it was best to leave, i decided that he was right, how could i hold him back. I couldnt put him into that position of having to choose his charge or me... or our child. I had only known for a week that we had conceieved a child on that perfect night 6 weeks ago, but the moment i found out for sure i knew that once he knew he would never leave, i was waiting for the perfect moment to tell him...

As he studied me one last time, all emotions evident on his face, i whispered "i love you so much and your child will too... even if he doesnt know his father...goodbye Dimitri." as the tears fell from my eyes.  
I watched as confusion rippled over his features for a moment before something inside the plane caught his attention tearing his gaze away from me. I turned and left the rooftop, not being able to bare watching him leave me and his unborn child behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dimitris point of view**

I love her more than my own life. She has become part of me, when i gave in to my feelings and we made love in the cabin that night i felt whole for the first time in my life, like i had found the other half of my heart and soul.  
She was the first thing i thought of when i woke up in the morning and all i dreamt about when i went to bed at night. Her amazing, deep brown, almost black, hair that always smelled of lavender and vanilla, Her eyes, those bottomless amazing eyes, i could stare into them forever and the feel of her smooth tan skin and her soft sweet lips.  
Shes all i could ever want in life... which is why this was the hardest thing i will ever have to do. I have to let her go, We both have jobs to do as guardians, and i cant be afraid that i will put her before the life of my moroi. Its not fair to her, or my charge.

"Roza, do you have any idea how much i love you?" I whisper, holding her tightly to me, i can feel her heart beating with mine, her breathe fanning against my neck.  
"mmmm not as much as i love you." She replies.  
She has no idea just how wrong that is, ive never loved anyone as much as i love her, nothing could compare to it.

I ask her my next question, knowing exactly what her answer will be but needing to hear it from her, "Do you regret it?"  
She lifts her head, and im immediately drawn in by her gorgeous eyes. "regret what?" She questions me.  
"What we did in the cabin?" I whisper, waiting for her answer.

She pauses for only a minute, searching my face before her answer takes my breath away, "No. Not one bit. I wish it had happened under better circumstances, but it was us. Me and you. It felt right and it still does feel right, i dont regret it one little bit."  
Its the exact same way i feel, the two of us finally became one that night. It was the most amazing night of my life, one that i will never ever be able to forget. "Me either." i reply, smiling at her for a moment.

I take in a deep breath, closing my eyes i force myself to say what i have to say next, even though it hurts. "but Roza, what about our charges? I dont think we can truly protect them if we continue with out relationship... like ive said before If something were to happen and you and my charge were in mortal danger... who would i choose? i couldnt live with myself if i let you die... but i couldnt live with myself if i let my charge die either... ive already been through that once, with Ivan, i couldnt handle it again." I have to keep my eyes closed, i can feel the tears building up, but i cant lose control or i wont be able to do what i have to.

Her fingers lightly trace a trail down my cheek, "It wont happen. I would never put myself in that kind of danger, and i can handle myself, i would never put you in that situation. Your charge would come first... just like i would have to put Lissa first." she whispered

She would "HAVE" to put Lissa first? When i first met my Roza, all she wanted to do was protect Lissa with her life, to do everything to keep her safe... have i really changed her that much that she believes its a.. a chore? a demand? that she protects her best friends life?  
"See... Rose, thats what i mean. You would 'HAVE" to put Lissa first... when you first came back to the academy you were so set in your guardian role that you would have protected Lissa with your life without a second thought... but now... you would choose, you would hesitate if you had to choose me or her... i couldnt live with that either, i couldnt live with myself if you chose me over her." I start sitting up, i need to do this now, i need to go so that she can refocus on her duty, just as i have to.

"Dimitri..." Her voice sounded broken, hurt.

"Roza, I love you with all my heart, you are like the other half of my soul... but i cant risk it, WE cant risk it. I wish we could be together... i wish we could love freely, but its just not that easy. We... we cant do this anymore." I stood up and moved towards the door as she sat up.

"What are you doing Dimitri?" That one sentence almost broke my resolve, i knew she knew what i was doing, i knew how much it would hurt her... it hurt me beyond words.

"Im... im going away. Im going to leave so that you can focus on Lissa." i spoke facing the door, i turned the handle and opened the door alittle before turning to glance back at her one last time. "I will always Love you my Roza. Please, please always remember that." And with that i stepped out the door and headed to my dorm to pack my things.

I put what little posessions i had into a duffle bag, placing the one photo of me and my Roza together, on the very top where it would be safe. I pulled out my phone and dialed a familiar number, waiting for them to answer.

"Hello?" a sweet voice picked up on the other line. My breath caught in my throat and i had to stop a sob from escaping.  
"Mama, its me... im coming home for a while ok?" i spoke.  
"Dimka? are you ok?" The worry in her voice was clear, i was her only son and she constantly worried about me, but she knew by the sound of my voice that something was wrong.  
"Everythings fine mama, im catching a flight back to Russia this morning..." I replied before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

I had some things to clear up before i left, i went to Kirova and Alberta and told them that i was taking leave, possibly indefinitly. Kirova was slightly annoyed at the timing, but Alberta looked at me with a pained expression, like what i was doing was hurting her.  
As i walked out the door of her office, Alberta stopped me before i could exit the building.

"Dimitri... why are you leaving?" She asked quietly, her hand was still resting on my arm that held my duffle bag.  
"i... i just have to. Its for the best right now." I spoke formally to her, keeping my guardian mask in place.  
"Have you told Rose?" She asked just as quietly as before. Her question shocked me, why would she think i would have to tell Rose... as far as she or anyone else knew, Rose was just a student... unless...  
"You know?" I questioned, raising one eyebrow slightly  
She smiled sadly, "Yes i know, ive known for a while... you both changed soon after your training started, I saw Rose becoming a better guardian, she gained more self control and stopped her troubled ways... and you werent as anti social.. you were happier. It would be hard for someone not to see it... You love her dont you?" She said, as more of a statement than a question.

"More than anything in the world... which is exactly why im leaving... We both need to focus on guarding our charge." I replied, as i was about to push open the door to the building.  
"I hope you are 100% sure about this Dimitri... you have no idea what this will do to her..." She added, a stern motherly tone to her voice, before she turned and went back to her office.

I pushed out of the door and started walking up the path towards the airstrip and the plane that waited to take me away. I was lost in thoughts of my Roza when i heard a beautiful voice singing, it sounded full of pain and hurt. I glanced around me before my eyes flew up to the roof. I gasped as i saw Roza sitting on the ledge, her legs dangling over as she strummed on a guitar and sang.

_Though the pressure's hard to take_  
_It's the only way I can escape_  
_It seems a heavy choice to make_  
_And now I am under all_

_And it's breaking over me_  
_A thousand miles down to the sea bed_  
_Found the place to rest my head_  
_Never let me go,Never let me go_  
_Never let me go,Never let me go_

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me_  
_And all this devotion was rushing out of me_  
_In the crushes of heaven for a sinner like me_  
_But the arms of the ocean delivered me_

_And it's over_  
_And I'm going under_  
_But I'm not giving up_  
_I'm just giving in_  
_I'm slipping underneath_  
_So cold and so sweet_

_And the arms of the ocean so sweet and so cold_  
_And all this devotion I never knew at all_  
_In the crushes of heaven for a sinner released_  
_And the arms of the ocean delivered me_

It was the single most beautiful song id ever heard, her voice was amazing. I felt so many emotions run through me as she locked eyes with me. She looked so hurt and sad, I had no idea what she would be like once i left, i just hoped that she would continue to be my strong, talented, spirited Roza. As i continued walking i heard her begin another song, it was even more beautiful and heart wrenching as the first, i knew she was singing with her broken heart and soul,

_Is anybody out there? Is anybody listening?_  
_Does anybody really know? If it's the end of our beginning,_  
_A cry, A rush, From one breath_  
_Is all we're waiting for_  
_Sometimes the one we're taking_  
_Changes every one before_

_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't_  
_It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed_  
_Some prayers find an answer_  
_Some prayers never know_  
_We're holding on and letting go_

I paused at the top of the stairs, looking back up to where she sat singing loud enough that i could still hear every word.

_Sometimes we're holding angels_  
_And we never even know_  
_Don't know if we'll make it, But we know,_  
_We just can't let it show_

_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't_  
_It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed_  
_Some prayers find an answer_  
_Some prayers never know_  
_We're holding on and letting go_  
_Yeah, letting go_

I watched her, a tear slid down my cheek as she stood up, guitar in one hand and her hand placed on her stomach. The look on her face was full of pain, torment and love. I couldnt believe i was still doing this, i was still leaving, my heart screamed for me to run back into her arms and promise to never leave her side, but we were guardians, our duty... our lives.. were meant to be lived for our charges, it was something we were taught right from the start of our lives.

I saw her lips moving but couldnt catch everything she said. I only made out the words '...Love you...child...doesnt... goodbye Dimitri."

My heart tore into tiny peices, she was accepting that i was leaving, possibly for forever, i didnt know yet.

"Excuse me sir, if you'd like to take a seat we can leave in a moment." a kind stewardess spoke from behind me. I turned to thank her for a second and when i turned back to the rooftop my Roza had gone.

Taking my heart and soul with her.

I went in and took my seat as the plane started up and lifted off into the air, i couldnt help the tears that escaped as i thought over the love and life that i was leaving behind.


	3. Chapter 3

As is sat at my desk, looking out over the large beautiful back garden,with red, yellow and white roses everywhere, i absentmindedly tapped the pen against the paper infront of me.

_'Rose, You should tell him. Its been nine months, your baby will be here real soon...Dimitri deseves to know.' _i heard Lissas soft voice speak through the swirl of thoughts in my mind. I turned to see her standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. Her platinum blonde hair cascading down over her shoulders, framing her heart shaped face perfectly.

"you know its not that easy anymore...I dont know if i can Liss... I mean i want to... He still tells me he loves me in his letters... But... I dont want this to be the reason he finally comes back...i want him to come back... For me... You know?" i replied, turning back to gaze out the windows. My hand automatically resting on the large baby bump that was now my stomach. I rubbed small circles on it as i thought about him.

Ever since Dimitri left, hes sent me a letter almost every week, always telling me that he loves me and that hes sorry, he told me hes guarding a moroi in Russia and that hes doing well. I would reply to him, telling him how i am, i never ever told him i was pregnant... It didnt seem right to when he left for the reasons he did. and id tell him what its like living at court with Lissa. Shes studying through correspondence studies so we can stay at court with Christian.

Those two are so in love, im so happy for them but...it hurts me to see sometimes... It just reminds me that that is how i want my life to be, living with the love of my life in a beautiful house, having kids together, raising them and loving them... Together.

Instead im sitting here alone, 9 months pregnant, the father is all the way in Russia, without a clue as to the fact that im carrying his child. Yes id written many letters telling him about our baby growing inside of me, how i wished he was here to witness everything with me... But i never had the guts to send them. Instead they sat in a box in the top drawer beside my bed.

I didnt realise untill Lissa wrapped her arms around me, that i had let tears fall down my cheeks. I wiped them away hastily before lifting my head, "im ok, im fine dont worry Liss." i tried to smile but it felt really forced, and i knew she could tell.

"all right Rose... You know where i am if you need me ok." she said, kissing the top of my head and backing out of the room. I smiled as she left, she was and always will be my best friend, my sister. She would always be more to me then just my charge.

I turned back to the desk, picking up the letter that i had placed on the edge of it. I let the tears fall freely as i read it again,

_-my dearest sweet Roza-_

_I am glad that you are still doing well, im thankful that you havent gotten into trouble while youve been on your shopping trips with Princess Dragomir and Lord Ozera, im not sure i could live in a world without you. even if we dont see eachother, it keeps me strong knowing that you are still living, still laughing and just being you somewhere in the world._

_I have been well, since my charge and i live so close to my family, i am able to visit them all the time. Viktoria is excited about going to court in the coming month, she knows of my love for you, but she doesnt know exactly who you are. My charge and i are supposed to be going away for about a month, im not sure where to yet, its a surprise apparently. Though i guess i will find out on monday, when we leave._

_ I cant wait for your reply. I miss you my Roza, you will always be in my heart. _

_Love, your comrade_

_-Dimitri-_

I began sobbing quietly, my body hitching as i tried to breathe. A small kick in my stomach pulled me back from falling right off the edge of hysteria, i laughed slightly, my baby always did that when i got sad. He would give me a couple of nudges as if reminding me that hes here and that im not alone. "i know baby, i love you too." i smiled rubbing the spot where he kicked me.

I stood up, stretching my sore tired back, i glanced at the calendar on the wall beside me. Huh, it was monday today, so Dimitri would be on his little holiday. I smiled thinking how even though he was probably somewhere tropical, he would still be clad in his duster, and with a worn out western in his hand.

_'Rose, do you want to come to dinner with Christian and i? His aunt is coming to town tonight so he wants to take her out' _Lissa asked through the bond as i made my way out of my room and down to the kitchen. I shook my head trying not to laugh, she was only a door away but she would rather just ask through the bond than get up and come to me.

"Sure why not." i finally laughed as i walked into the kitchen, where She and Christian were sitting at the counter. He just looked up with a confused, almost worried look on his face.

"dont worry sparky, youre safe, we arent talking about you... Much." i laughed, ruffling his hair. I knew it annoyed him, but i also knew he would never hit a pregnant women.

He just rolled his eyes at me. "once that child is out Hathaway, youre mine." he grinned, snapping his fingers so that a small flame appeared on the tip of his fingers. "any day now right?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

"two days ago actually." i laughed, this baby was two whole days overdue. My womb must be a very cosy place seeing as how he refused to come out.

"so when and where is dinner?" i asked moving into the sitting room and plonking myself down on the couch.

"you know that fancy new little mexican place just past dunkin donuts?" Lissa asked,

Christian scoffed. "duh of course she knows the place, she practically LIVES at dunkin donuts." He laughed, followed by a loud "ouch" from him as i presumed Lissa slapped him. I just growled in response, being pregnant had intensified my craving for donuts, it seems the baby has most of the same taste in food as me.

"we leave in about an hour. Shes going to come here once the plane lands, Shes probably going to stay here with us for a month or so, before she goes back home for the next semester of martial arts shes been teaching." Lissa said, coming into the room.

I havent seen Tasha since back at the academy, i still have my reservations about her. She seemed nice and friendly, but i wasnt convinced that it was completely genuine. Oh well, this house was big enough that i could avoid her most of the time if i wanted to.

"i guess you better help me up then so i can get ready huh?" we both burst out laughing. The couch probably wasnt the best place for me to sit, i could never get off without successfully destroying my dignity. She grabbed my outstretched hand and pulled as i rocked myself back and forth a few times before lurching foreward and onto my feet, crashing into her slightly. She held me for a second as i gained my balance and waddled back towards my room.

I hunted through my wardrobe for ages, flicking through any clothes that accented my pregnant stomach. I hated being gaped at because i looked like a whale, i felt it, i didnt need to be reminded by everyone staring. Finally i found a deep red dress, it was one of my recently acquired favourites. It hugged my boobs just right and the silky billowy material was perfect for helping to make my bump less obvious. I left my hair down, the silky dark brown curls sitting almost below my waist now, i hadnt gotten the nerve to cut it.

I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup when there was a knock on the door. I waited to hear Lissa or Christian get up to answer it but there was nothing. So when the knock sounded again i heaved myself off the chair and waddled out, banging on Lissa and Christians bedroom door as i passed. I could hear the shower running so i knew they must not have heard the door.

I got to the door just as the person on the other side knocked again. I took in a deep breath, putting on my brightest smile as i pulled open the door to greet Natasha Ozera.

One hand flew to my mouth as i gasped, the other flew to my stomach as i looked into the deep brown eyes that haunted my dreams. All 6"7 of his Russian body stood just as shocked on the other side, his fist raised to knock again.

"Roza?" his eyes widdened as they roamed my body, but didnt seem to notice my enlarged stomach as they locked back onto mine.

"Di...Dimitri?!" i almost couldnt breathe, what was he doing here? And why did he look so shocked to see me if he was the one knocking on MY door?

"Dimka, can you help me with this bag?" a shrill high voice called from the left of the door. Dimitri didnt even seem to hear it as he continued to stare at me. "Dimka?" the voice repeated, getting closer untill Tasha finally appeared beside him. "oh Rose, its so good to see you!" she squealed at me, as she lunged forward to embrace me in a hug i stepped back, holding my hands up in front of me.

"Hi Tasha, its good to see you too... Let me... Go get Christian." i said as i hurriedly turned, glancing one last time at Dimitri who still stood just as shocked as before, before i turned and waddled as fast as i could to get to Christian and Lissas room.

"are you freakin kidding me Lissa! Why didnt you tell me he was coming! And hes with Tasha!? What the hell!" i hissed at her as soon as she opened her bedroom door. The shock on her face, and through the bond told me that she knew as much about it as i did.

Christian appeared beside her, "whats going on?" he asked.

"your aunts here..." i growled. His face lit up with a smile and he was past me before i could finish my sentence.

"Aunt Tasha!" i heard him greet her, followed by a gasp and then "Dimitri?" He sounded just as surprised as everyone else. Seems the only one that wasnt at all surprised at the moment was Tasha herself...

"Rose? Are you going to be ok?" Lissa asked, worry streaming to me through the bond.

I closed my eyes and balled my fists up. Would i be ok? He was here, obviously with her... But was he _with_ her? Was everything he wrote to me a lie? I let out a deep long breath before replying through clenched teeth, "yes Liss...ill be fine."

I plastered a fake smile on my face and walked as normally and casually as i could back into the sitting room. Christian was sitting on the couch talking animatedly to his aunt who sat right beside him. Dimitri was standing against the fireplace opposite them, he had on his old guardian mask and was doing the whole seeing but not seeing thing, but the minute i stepped into the room his eyes darted to mine.

In that instant I realised i could still read his emotions through his guardian mask, just like i could back at the academy. I saw joy, happiness, relief, pain and hurt all flash through his eyes. I couldnt help but drop the fake smile as a real one took its place, i wanted so badly to run into his arms, to hold him against me and whisper my love for him. I couldnt do that though, even though i could read him like a book, i wasnt sure in this moment if thats what he wanted, if he even wanted me. So instead i just moved past them and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water.

I knew the instant i stepped into the kitchen that he had followed. The scent of his skin mixed with his aftershave hit me and i turned just as he wrapped his arms around my waist and began to pull me into him.

"Roza i -" he cut himelf off abruptly, i was confused untill i realised he was staring in shock at my bulging baby bump that was between us, keeping him from wrapping his arms completely around me. The shock still clearly evident on his face turned slightly to anger as he looked back at me. "Youre pregnant?" he stated.

I didnt know what to say, so instead i just nodded slowly, trying to gauge his reaction. He dropped his arms from my sides and took a step back, his eyes stared into mine for a second before he closed them, drawing in a deep breath.

I finally found my voice, "Dimitri please, let me explain. Its not what you think."


	4. Chapter 4

"Roza... Youre pregnant... What am i supposed to think?" he asked, frustration laced in his tone as he opened his eyes and looked at me.

I knew this looked bad, i knew he would think the worst. Its supposed to be genetically impossible for dhampirs to have babies with other dhampirs, i still had no idea as to how it happened, all i knew was that Dimitri was the only person i had ever, ever slept with. I just had to make HIM know that... But how? How do you try to prove the impossible?

I searched his face, not sure what i was looking for exactly. "i never slept with a moroi... Ive never been unfaithful to you, even after you left i never slept with anyone else." i spoke as firmly as i could, staring into his eyes, hoping with everything i had that he would believe my words.

He stared back for a moment before looking away, i could see the doubt in his eyes. Of course he wouldnt believe it, of course he would think i was weak and had run to the first person to offer themself to me after he abandoned me. "i dont know how to prove it to you Dimitri... But i wouldnt lie to you about something like this, i wouldnt try to make you believe something that wasnt true. If you trusted me at all you would know that." i spoke, looking down at my stomach, i rubbed circles on it, " this child will grow up knowing who his father is... Even if his father doesnt believe it." i said with complete certainty

I would tell him all about his father and what a great man... Great guardian he is. And maybe... Just maybe... One day Dimitri would see the truth, he would believe i was telling the truth and accept this child as his. I closed my eyes tight as a tear slipped from my eye trailing its way slowly down my cheek.

"Roza... Why have you never mentioned this before... You wrote me so many letters But you never mentioned this...not once..." he whispered, i could hear pain and saddness in his voice.

I flinched slightly as his hand came up and wiped the tears from my eyes. I looked up at him to see his eyes, they shone slightly in the light. I shook my head side to side slowly,

"i did... I did write you letters... I just never sent them... I didnt want you to come back just because of him..." i whispered, there was no way i could speak normally, the fear and hurt i felt wouldnt let me.

"what do you mean you did? Why didnt you send them? Roza, if we're having a son i had a right to know from the very start." he stated, placing a finger under my chin and lifting it slightly. I could tell he was struggling not to get frustrated,

I held back a sob, "Dimitri you dont understand... You said you left to protect me... I felt like you abandoned me... Would you have really thought any different about being able to protect your charge if i told you that you were going to be a father? It would have just added to your reason to stay away...and... And i was being selfish. I wanted you to WANT to come back... Come back for me..." i choked out.

"oh Roza..." he started, but let his voice trail off as he sighed, "you kept this a secret from me Roza... You say im the father but... Were you ever going to tell me?... When is he due?" he asked me, the hand that wiped the tears was now cupping me cheek. I leaned slightly into him, itd been so long since i felt his touch, i shivered slightly as i felt the familiar tingle run through me.

I let out a breathe, "2 days ago..." i whispered.

Dimitri stiffened slightly, i looked at his expression and my heart stuttered. He was looking at me with a mix between awe and love. There wasnt a hint of anger in his face like i had expected. He placed a single hand on the top of my stomach and looked down at it.

"youre telling me the truth... Its really my child in there?" he asked, still looking at my baby bump.

"its your baby boy." i whispered smiling down at his hand. I had to stifle a small laugh as the baby kicked his hand hard from inside, the look on Dimitris face was priceless, it almost took my breath away. But i was so sad and mad at myself, this shouldnt be the first time hes feeling his son kick, he should have been here from the start. Who was i to stop him, even if he hadnt come back for me.

"come on guys, were leaving for dinner now..." Christian spoke stepping into the doorway, he trailed off slightly as he took in the scene before him. He knew i hadnt told Dimitri about the baby before. His face flushed a little as he realised he had just walked in on a special moment, "...sorry..." he murmured stepping away quickly.

I shook my head again, a smile etched its way onto my lips. And as if on cue My stomach rumbled loudly. Dimitris answering chuckle swirled around me like music, i hadnt realised how much i missed it until i heard it again.

Just as i was about to step past him he surprised me by pulling me into a hug, squishing my stomach between us. "im so sorry Roza, you should have told me... I would have come back to you, i should have been here from the start..." he whispered into my hair.

"no Dimitri... Like i said, i didnt want you to come back because of him... I wanted..." i trailed off, not wanting to go into detail again, so instead i just pulled him towards the door, "come on, its dinner time." i said smiling brightly. I still felt the pain and turmoil inside. Not knowing why he came back, why he was here with Tasha of all people, and what would he do now that he knew?

'_Rose?' _Lissa asked warily through the bond. I dropped Dimitris arm straight away and turned to where she was walking towards us down the hall.

"im ready whenever you are Liss" i smiled at her. She seemed a little shocked at my more cheerful mode change, but she shrugged it off. She knew i wouldnt talk to her about it right now, but eventualy she would get it out of me. She had a nack for interrogation.

I walked silently behind Lissa, Christian and Tasha, as we wandered down the main street of court. I only half listened as they chatted away about things going on with the courts politics and Tashas martial arts. Dimtri was walking silently beside me, his gaze was distant, i could tell he was lost in thought and i didnt have it in me to drag him out of it. Hearing that youre going to be a father was a very big deal, and the fact that he was hearing about it right before its birth was another deal entirely. I wouldnt be surprised if he was in shock right now.

I also knew that he must have set up a life for himself in Russia, and i wouldnt tear him away from it for the sake of a child. As much as i wanted my son to grow up with parents the way that i didnt get to, i wasnt going to force his father into anything. If Dimitri decided to leave then i would let him go for a second time without a fight.

"Rose we're here" Lissa called, breaking me out of my own thoughts as i realised the whole group had stopped but id kept walking. I grinned sheepishly.

"whoa, its not like you to walk straight past a donut shop Rosie!" christian replied snarkily, i shot him a glare that told him to shut up before i hurt him, and i smirked as his face paled slightly.

We entered the brightly lit restaurant and found a table, i sat down in a chair and was surprised when Dimitri took the chair next to me. with Lissa and Christian taking the opposite side and Tasha sitting at one end between Dimitri and Christian.

We all ordered our food, with me ordering the most, obviously, but come on, im eating for two so im allowed. Halfway through the meal, i was chatting to Lissa about a trip she was planning in a couple of weeks, and Chrisitan and Tasha were off in their own conversation, i got a big surprise when i felt a hand creep onto my thigh. The familiar tingle of electricity shot through me and i looked over to see a smile twitching at the corner of Dimitris mouth, he glanced at me for a second, the only emotion i could see was love, complete and unconditional love.

It surprised me so much i didnt even hear what Lissa had been saying.

"huh?" i asked tuning back in, and trying to suppress the urge to grab Dimitri and kiss him right here and right now. she sighed, clearly exasperated but repeated herself.

"when do you have to go see the doctor again?"

I thought about it for a second, "well i saw him two days again and he said i would have to go back tomorrow or the next day if baby didnt hurry himself along." As i spoke Dimitris hand, that was still resting on my thigh, started rubbing small soothing circles with his thumb.

He was seriously confusing me, did this mean he was ok with it? That he believed me? Why wasnt he mad? He should be absolutely furious with me...i mean i wasnt complaining at all... It was just slightly confusing to not know what he was thinking...

"So Rose, i dont mean to be rude... Im just curious... Will the father be around for the birth?" Tashas voice pipped up, id almost forgotten she was here... Almost.

I didnt know how to answer that, i didnt know whether to be honest or to just flat out lie. "well..." i started before being abruptly cut off.

"Yes, he will be... If its ok with you that is?" Dimitri spoke up, turning his question towards me.

I froze in shock, that was unexpected! This man wasnt ceasing to amaze me today. I was aware of my mouth opening and shutting a couple times but nothing coming out. I blinked a few times, before clearing my throat, "uhh of course."

His answering smile was dazzling, it almost made my head spin. I was getting slightly lost in his deep glistening brown eyes when Tasha spoke again,

"what?... Im...confused..." she said looking at both of us and shaking her head slightly as if that would make things seem clearer to her. I looked at her and then back at Dimitri, i figured since he showed up with her then if he wanted her to know then it was his decision wether to tell her or not.

"Tasha... It appears that Roza.. Is having my baby." he beamed at her. He looked so happy... So proud... That it took my breath away.

We all watched as emotions flew across her pale moroi features, she looked stunned and confused untill she blinked and her face grew furious. She abruptly stood up, causing her chair to scrape backwards noisily amd she slammed her hands on the table.

"What the hell are you talking about?! Thats impossible, we all know it is, shes obviously lyng to you, to all of you apparently" she waved one hand towards Lissa and Christian.

"no, im not. Not that its anyones buisness but mine, ive never slept with anyone except for him. He trusts me enough to know that im telling the truth. This child is his." i calmy said back, though i could feel myself getting angry.

"bullshit! Youre nothing but a lying, cheating bloodwhore wannabe! You couldnt handle the fact that he willingly left you! So you went and got knocked up straight away and are trying to pass off some bastard moroi child as his! Well im not falling for it!" she yelled back at me.

I stood up, knocking over the large cup of water that was infront me as i did, causing it to spill all over me and the ground but i didnt care, i was beyond angry, i was furious now. I knew we were causing a scene but i was beyond caring. How dare she!

"who the hell do you think you are!? You dont know me, you know nothing about me! I would never cheat on him! I know exactly why he left, i didnt fight him, i didnt stop him! I chose not to stop him! You need to-" i was abruptly cut off as i felt a shift in my stomach, it wasnt my babies normal movement, it wasnt just a kick or a flip, this was like him dropping lower, i gasped in shock just as a sharp intense pain tore through my body and i screamed out, doubling over clutching my stomach in pain.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks guys for the amazing reviews. This was originally only a one-shot, but your comments and reviews changed my mind :)  
Sooo this chapter is the birth... since ive never had a baby i had to guess most of this lol...  
**

**Keep letting me know what you think :)**

* * *

As fast as it appeared the pain subsided, before finally disappearing completely, once i caught my breathe again i realised that as i had clutched my stomach my panties had become wet and a warm liquid had drenched my legs.

"oh my god, i think i wet myself." i tried to hold back a laugh but failed as it escaped my lips. It came out more as a half sob, half hysteric laugh, making me sound kind of loony.

"Roza? Are you ok? Whats going on?" Dimitris voice sounded close to my ear, i realised i was kneeling on the ground, still clutching my stomach. I let out a few deep breathes before lifting my head and raising my hand, asking for some help to get up.

"Liss...Liss we need to get to the clinic. Now!" i almost yelled at her. I saw confusion and then realization register on her face and she was instantly in action, racing out the front door. Chrsitian got up just as fast, going to pay the bill for the meal we barely ate. Tasha just stood there staring at us with a look of shock and horror on her face, her wide blue eyes drilling into me the whole time.

Dimitri slipped one arm around my waist and helped me hobble outside into the refreshing cool air.

"can you walk? Should I carry you? Hes not going to arrive right this instant is he? We still have time to get to the hospital?" he spoke hurriedly, he sounded so flustered, like he had no clue what to do. He probably didnt, i doubt he would have been with many women as they went into labour. I chuckled as i watched his expression change from excited to confused to worried and then back again in a continuous circuit. I'd never seen his emotions so clear and so wild on his face.

"its ok comrade, im fine, just breathe." he looked at me with amusement, a wide smile spreading like wildfire onto his face. I could see the awe and excitement in his eyes at the prospect of seeing his child born. I held one arm underneath my belly, and the other against my back and waddled awkwardly towards the grey van that had just pulled up. Lissa swung open the door and flew out, grasping my shoulder on the opposite side to Dimitri as they both basically pushed me into the van.

I realised there were no seats at all in the back so i was able to half sit half lay on the floor, my legs bent as i leaned against Dimitri who had gotten in after me. Lissa sat at my feet, rubbing circles on the top of my knee, i could see excitement written all over her pale moroi face. Her jade green eyes dancing around the van in anticipation.

Christian suddenly launched into the front passenger seat and the dhampir that was driving pulled the van out and peeled towards the clinic. We actually werent that far but when your in labour, walking that distance isnt really an option unless you want to give birth on the side of the road. I laughed at the thought of squatting on the pavement, screaming my lungs out and then having a baby pop out. Christian turned to give me an odd look, but just as i was about to say something sarcastic to him a second contraction ripped through my body.

I clutched my stomach, lurching forward off Dimitri to try and ease the pain. I was trying to keep quiet, clenching my teeth together and squeezing my eyes shut. Rose Hathaway does not cry, i chanted over and over in my head. I started breathing like the nurse had shown me at my prenatal class, in in out, in in out. I focused on that until the pain finally disappeared and i fell back against Dimitri sighing loudly.

He pushed a couple of stray locks of hair off my forehead and ran a finger lightly over my skin. I closed my eyes and breathed, i was trying to keep the panic and worry, not to mention the fear, i was feeling pushed to the very back of my mind. I had heard far too many birthing horror stories while i was pregnant, i was terrified that this would become another one that people would tell to freak out other pregnant people. And the pain, i had been warned that without the drugs, the pain would be worse than anything i had ever felt before. I had told my doctor that i wanted whatever pain meds they could give me without harming the baby, he had laughed when i had told him, saying that the look on my face was far too serious.

The drive to the clinic was barely 10 minutes but just as the van pulled up outside the emergency department, i let out a cry. The pain seemed to get far, far worse with every contraction, i couldnt believe such an increase was even possible. Dimitri surprised me once more by grabbing my hand and giving it a slight squeeze, his way of saying i could squeeze his through the pain and that he was here with me. I glanced at him as the pain subsided once again, he had concern on his face so i tried giving him a reasurring smile.

To be honest, i still couldnt believe he was here. That even after he had only found out less than an hour ago that i was pregnant with his child, and that i had kept it secret from him for 9 months, he was still here and he wasnt mad or upset... that i could tell anyway, he was probably holding it in until later.

Lissa shot out of the van as soon as it stopped moving, leaving Christian and Dimitri to help shuffle me out of the van. They both moved slowly, barely even touching me for fear of hurting me, until Lissa was back with a nurse and a wheelchair. I raised an eyebrow at it, yeah id finally taught myself how to do that. But lowered myself onto it without comment and let the nurse wheel me away.

Dimitri and Lissa were right beside me as the nurse pushed me through the automatic doors and down the long white corridor, stopping outside a room on the left as the doctor opened it and signaled us in.

"Guardian Hathaway, we've been waiting for you." he smiled at me, helping Dimitri lift me out of the wheelchair and onto the uncomfortable white hospital bed.

"youre telling me. This kid sure picks his timing... made me miss out on most of my dinner, not to mention dessert!" i laughed, then quickly scowled as the doctor handed me a hideous light green hospital gown.

He grinned at my change in mood, "put it on... You dont want to ruin that gorgeous dress do you?" he had a point... I rolled my eyes as everyone stepped out so i could change. Who designs these stupid gowns anyway? its ugly and it feels like im wearing plastic.  
Lissa laughed at my expression as they came back in, She moved straight over to my left side and put a hand on my shoulder as Dimitri stepped to my right. The doctor sorted himself out down 'that' end of me, he gave me the pain meds i had requested as well.  
"Well Rose... it looks like hes in a hurry to be out now, your already 8cm dialted." He beamed, raising his head above my bent knees with a grin on his face.

I grinned back, "not fast enough Doc." i managed to get out before another contraction racked through my body. I gripped the sheets underneath me, lifting myself off the pillows and trying to sit so that the pain wasnt as bad, nothing worked, i felt a tear betray me and trail down my cheek as i let out a cry. Dimitris warm calloused finger wiped the tear away before i could, and he placed a reasuring kiss on my forhead.

"Your doing well Roza, keep it up." he murmured quietly. I lifted my hand and he took it, gripping it tightly as yet another pain took hold. It felt like they were coming one after another now, i couldnt get a break in between each one.  
The doctor pushed himself away, called to a nurse just outside the door and as he came back he smiled again at me, "Right Rose, when i give you the go ahead i need you to start pushing, but if i say stop then try to hold it back ok?"

I just nodded with my teeth clenched. Dimitri rubbed soothing circles on my hand and Lissa rubbed my shoulder lightly. I gripped his hand as i felt another pain come on.  
"whoa, he really is in a hurry...i can already see his head, Alright Rose, as soon as you feel another contraction i need you to push." The doctor said.

I looked up at Lissa then Dimitri as i breathed. She just looked excited bouncing slightly on her feet, but His eyes were wide and i could see the wonder in them, but i could see concern as well, he smiled a small smile as he locked eyes with me. He used his free hand to wipe some of the sweat that had formed on my forehead. I had to break the eye contact as i squeezed my eyes shut for the next contraction, as soon as the pain hit i pushed. A scream escaped from my lips as i did, the pain was surreal even after having pain meds.

"Good... good Rose, now stop and take a break until the next contraction and then do it again.." the doctor coached. He didnt need to tell me twice. I concentrated on breathing for a minute. This is it, i thought as the next one appeared. I pushed with everything i had in me, clenching my teeth together and squeezing my eyes closed. I felt it as the babys head and i presume shoulders pushed there way out and the doctor helped pull him the rest of the way. I felt so much relief as the pain disappeared, I fell straight back on the bed, letting out a huge greatful sigh. Dimitri looked so proud as he looked down at me, then he looked over to where the doctor had been sitting, a look of concern etched onto both of their faces, i was confused for a moment before i realised my baby was out... but he wasnt crying...

Thats when i realised something was wrong with my baby...


	6. Chapter 6

He didnt cry... he didnt wail... he didnt make any sounds at all.  
I lifted myself onto my elbows and my heart skipped a beat as I watched the doctor carry him to the side of the room where a nurse instantly wiped him down and placed a tube down his tiny little throat.  
"Wha.. whats going on?" I stuttered, trying to keep my voice from sounding too hysterical.

"Its ok Rose, hes got fluid in his lungs so hes not breathing like he should be, its easy enough to sort out. Its not life threatening, so dont worry. Give us a minute and He should be fine. Just rest for now..." The doctor spoke over his shoulder as he continued to work on my son.

Dimitris hold on my hand tightened slightly as he watched the doctor and nurse work as well. I lay back down on the bed, closing my eyes and trying to breathe, I didnt want to panic, if the doctor said he was fine then Im sure he would be. Atleast... I hoped like mad that he would be.  
Nobody else said anything for what felt like hours, I was almost to the point of drifting off to sleep when I finally heard a tiny cry. My heart skipped a beat, as It started as a helpless little whimper, but as the doctor moved towards me carrying the small blue bundle it turned to all out wailing.

I scooted back so that the pillows were propt up behind my back, holding out my arms as the doctor gently placed the blanket in my arms and then discreetly left the room with the nurse in tow. His cries instantly stopped the minute I held him to me. My breath caught in my throat as I held him against my chest, his tiny, plump little arms waved in the air, reaching up towards me. I smiled as I saw him blink his light, caramel brown eyes at me, with a little, gummy smile pulling on his lips. I smoothed the little bit of light brown hair that sat on his head, placing a kiss on his forehead as i did. "hi baby..." I whispered, the tears had built up in my eyes and finally spilled over as I stared down at my miracle of a son.

"Oh Rose, hes absolutely gorgeous." Lissa beamed at me, her finger reaching out as my son grabbed onto it and held on. She giggled as he squeezed her finger a couple of times before letting go and making the cutest little gurgling sounds.

I looked up with a wide smile on my face, then turned to Dimitri, "he's got your eyes Comrade." I said as I watched his eyes water slightly, before he smiled a wide, proud, breathtaking smile. I held up my son for him to take, watching as his eyes went wide and he hesitantly bought his arms up to take him from me. It was sweet watching all of the 6"7 Russian melt as he held his son, bouncing up and down ever so slightly and murmuring things in his native tongue.

He turned to me, the smile still gracing his perfect face, "hes amazing Roza... Does he have a name?" He asked curiously.  
"Well i havent decided completely yet... but ive been thinking... Alexavier Mitya Mason Belikov?... if you dont mind giving him your last name?" I asked shyly, i had actually planned on giving him Hathaway as his official last name only because i didnt know what Dimitri would think, wether he would believe me or not, but since Dimitri knew about him now it felt right for his son to have his last name.

"Of course... hes my son afterall..." He beamed proudly back at me, a look of complete awe and certainty in his eyes, "I love the name Alexavier, and Mason, im not surprised about... but how did you come about 'Mitya'?" He asked raising one eyebrow at me, i looked away towards Lissa with a sheepish smile on my face.

"I...um... researched Russian names... and found out it was a form of nickname for Dmitri... and i really like it." I looked back at him as he chuckled loudly.

"Alexavier Mitya Mason Belikov... its perfect... hes perfect." Dimitri said looking down at his son with so much love and pride on his face it was incredible. I got teary eyed at the scene infront of me, it was just so perfect. I couldnt wish for a more amazingly beautiful moment.

There was a hesitant knock on the door as Christian popped his head slowly around the door, a smile spread across his face as he saw the bundle in Dimitris arms. "Is it safe to have visitors?" He questioned me. I grinned back at him and nodded just as he walked in with Eddie, Mia and Adrian trailing slowly behind him.

"So my Little Dhampir is finally a mommy." Adrian grinned coming up and wrapping his arms around me. "Congrats."  
I hugged him back just as tightly, "Thanks Adrian." When he let me go I was quickly engulfed in a hug from Eddie and Mia, with more congratulations and well wishes from them. Dimitri, rather reluctantly, passed Alexavier around so that everyone got a hold. They all 'ohhhh'd and ahhhh'd over him, telling us how adorable he was. Until he decided that he was hungry, and let out a shrill cry from Chrsitians arms.

Christian actually looked scared as he passed the baby back to me, i just grinned and laughed at his expression. They all quietly excused themselves as they realised i would have to expose myself to feed him. Leaving just Dimitri in the room with me.  
"do.. do you want me to leave as well?" he asked, taking a step towards the door, like he was actually going to leave.  
"no, no you dont have to. Its not like you havent seen me half naked before, and besides hes your son, you should stay." I reasured him. It was true, he'd definitely seen me naked before so i wasnt shy around him. He smiled widely and moved to sit on the edge of the bed beside my thighs.

He sat and watched in silence for a while as i fed our son, it seemed he had definitely inherited my appetite. I brushed my fingers along the smooth soft skin of his forehead and cheeks, marvelling at the perfectness of his features. He was the perfect little mix of me and Dimitri. I watched in awe as his instincts took over and he began suckling.

Dimitri cleared his throat quietly, pulling my eyes from Alex's. "Roza i... ive missed you so much." He said quietly, his eyes boring into mine, i could see the intensity of his feelings shining through. I smiled warmly back at him, "Ive missed you too Comrade, you have no idea how much... Im sorry I didnt tell you about Alex before now, like I said... I was scared... and selfish..." I said, trailing off as he shifted closer to me and took the hand that wasnt supporting the baby in his.

"Dont apologize Roza... its ok... yes, im kind of mad and upset that you didnt tell me... but I can understand your reasoning... and believe me, I wanted to be with you, I dont know how I survived 9 whole months away from you, it was... complete torture... but Im back now, and I dont ever want to be apart from you again...if thats ok with you?" he asked, he looked and sounded like he was scared i would turn him down and tell him to go back to Russia...

"Dimitri... what about your life in Russia, you were there for 9 whole months... you cant just leave that all behind... and what about Tasha?" I asked, it was a very sore subject for me but I knew I had to breach it eventually. I needed to know his ties with her, wether it had become anything more than just his guardian duties. I was terrified of the answer, so I fixed my eyes on Alex as he drank.

Dimitri was rubbing soothing patterns on the back of my hand, "My life was nothing without you... I just went day to day, I was never truely happy... until we came here and I saw your beautiful face again, and I realised just how much of me had been missing...Id left half of me with you, and when I saw you again it was like everything clicked back into place, I was whole again...I was finally happy again... And as for Tasha, I took up a position guarding her because of convenience, she was in Russia, close to my family, and I needed the work... there has never been anything more than friendship on my part... though I know for a fact that she wanted more... I just needed something to occupy my time, to keep me busy... It was never anything more than guarding work." He said, I looked back at him as he spoke and I could see the truth of it in his eyes and the way he smiled when he spoke of him being whole again. I knew exactly how he felt, because it was the same for me. I had been missing part of me for so long that I had forgotten how it felt to be whole again, I'd gotten by believing that Alexavier would fill that void... but now it seemed that he wouldnt have to. I had my Dimitri, my comrade back.

I pulled Dimitri toward me, careful that I wasnt jostling the baby too much. I snaked my hand around behind Dimitris neck and pulled his face to mine.  
Our lips met in what I can only discribe as pure bliss. We both melted into the kiss, our lips moving in sync, the feel of his warm soft lips against mine after so long apart was indescribable. I felt the tingle run from my lips down to my toes, making me shudder just slightly. The kiss was so full of love and warmth that I never wanted it to end, so when Dimitri pulled away slightly and rested his forehead against mine I couldnt help the small whimper that left my lips. He chuckled slightly before kissing me once more quickly.

"You both need some rest my Roza... Its been a long couple of hours." He smiled at me then looked down at Alex, I chuckled as I realised he still had his mouth around my nipple but was fast asleep. I gently detached him and moved over on the uncomfortable hospital bed, patting the side of it lightly until Dimitri slid up and lay down beside me, wrapping one arm under my neck and resting the other over my waist. We lay with Alexavier in between us, and I closed my eyes as I quickly drifted off to sleep, my exhaustion taking over.


	7. Chapter 7

**Dimitri pov**

Its been 24 hours since i arrived at court, 24 hours since my life changed. When Tasha had first told me of our little holiday, and before we had arrived at court, I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined running into my Roza, and then learning that I have a son! It was made even better that I was here to witness his birth... I suppose for most it would have been a hard thing to believe, its supposed to be impossible for normal dhampirs to reproduce together,I knew that, but one thing I knew about my Roza was that she was anything but normal, and I could still read her the same way I could 9 months ago. The truth of what she spoke radiated off her, I knew without a doubt that she wouldnt lie to me about something so important, though I couldnt understand why I was only just finding out about this now...

It had still become one of the best days of my life, the day I gained a son. Second only barely to the day Roza and I became one in the cabin.

Alexavier Mitya Mason Belikov.

He was the most gorgeously, handsome little boy. His constant searching, caramel brown eyes and soft light brown hair, and he had one hell of an appetite, but he was turning out to be such a calm, quiet little boy. He woud hardly fuss at all, he was amazing, I could hardly take my eyes off him but If I wasnt watching him then I was watching my Roza.

I have no idea how I stayed away from her for as long as I did, everyday that I was away she was constantly on my mind. Her eyes, her hair, her smile, even her smell... Everything was so ingrained in my mind that I was surprised that I really functioned all that well. But as I sat in that hostpital room and watched My love sleep, with little Alex nestled in against her arm, I knew for a fact that I couldnt leave again, I couldnt leave my new little family.

As I sat mesmerised by these two beings, I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my duster. I flicked it out without looking at the caller idea, "Belikov" i answered, trying to keep my voice low so as not to wake them.  
"Dimka? Where are you?" asked Tasha, she sounded like she was panting, as if she had been running or doing something strenuous.

"Im still at the hostpital... Tasha are you ok? What are you doing?" I asked, raising one eyebrow even though I knew she couldnt see.  
There was silence on the other end for a moment until she finally replied, the tone of her voice raised a little, "Hospital? you're still with 'them'?"  
The way she said 'them' annoyed me a little, she knew about my feelings for Roza, I had told her everything the day I agreed to be her guardian, I had to make sure she knew that I wasnt interested in any of the "Propositions" she gave me. I didnt want a family with anyone if I couldnt have it with my Roza, but that sure didnt stop Tasha from trying. She was constantly flirting with me and trying to seduce me subtly, but it never worked, no one could ever compare to Roza.  
"Yes I am" I spoke evenly. "Actually Tasha, theres something I need to speak to you about, could you meet me somewhere in say... half an hour?" I asked, I figured I needed to fill her in on my plans sooner rather than later, and better she hears it from me than from someone else.

"Sure...at The little cafe just down from Christian and Lissas place?" She replied. I agreed and clicked my phone shut, letting out a little breath as I did, this was a conversation I really wasnt looking forward to. I knew Tashas reaction wouldnt be a very good one, but I was hoping if we were in public she wouldnt get too out of hand.

"Everything ok Comrade?"

I looked up at the sound of her beautiful voice, she was watching me with shy,wary eyes. I just nodded slightly and moved over to the seat beside her bed. She smiled warmly at me as I picked up her soft, small hand in mine and traced light patterns on the back of it.  
"Everythings perfect." I smiled back at her, but I couldnt help the need to apologise again, "Im so sorry for leaving you Roza, I have no idea how you must have felt finding out you were pregnant after I left like that... I should have stayed... I was a coward..." I sighed, I knew that my apology wasnt good enough, I should never have left her like that after I promised that night in the cabin that we could work everything out and that I would never leave her.

Her eyes grew sad as she listened to me, she pursed her lips and looked down. "Dimitri... I knew... I knew I was pregnant before you left... I was trying to find the perfect way to tell you... but then you explained that you were leaving... thats why I felt selfish. I could have told you right then and there, I knew you would have stayed because of him...but I didnt want that...I wanted you to stay for me... but you were so convinced that it was best for you to leave that I couldnt... I just couldnt tell you." She finished, her voice wavering slightly as she fought her emotions back.

She knew? I thought back to that day that I left... her sitting on the roof singing her heart out and then when she stood up with one hand clutching the guitar and the other sitting on her stomach... it all clicked then, the words that I had heard but didnt understand, that was her whispering to me about our child. I felt like an idiot, I should have stayed, I should never have run away like I did.  
She was looking at me, her eyes were slightly watery though I could tell she was fighting to not let the tears escape, I realised she was waiting for my reply, she looked like she thought I would be mad?

I shook my head, a small sad smile on my lips. "Looks like we both messed up... but im back now, and im not going anywhere, I will stay as long as you want me and as long as he needs me." I spoke putting in as much certainty as I could. Her answering smile was incredible, it lit up the small white room like a ray of sunshine. I kissed the back of her hand that I was holding "I have to go for a little while, I have some things that need taking care of, but I will be back before you know it." I said as I stood up.

Bending down slightly I gave Alex a soft kiss on the forehead, smoothing back his soft brown hair as I did, then reached over to give Roza one too but before my lips could meet her forehead, I felt her hand snake up and grip the back of my neck as she pulled my head down to meet her lips. It began as a sweet, gentle, loving kiss but from the tingle it seemed to send through both of us, it became heated and passionate before we knew it, like our emotions and longing over the last 9 months were suddenly pulled foreward and being together was all we could think about. She tasted just as sweet as I remembered, I would never ever get sick of kissing my Roza. But I had to be the one to gain some self control because from the way she continued to kiss me and murmur against my lips I knew she wouldnt any time soon. I chuckled as I pulled away and leaned my forehead against hers, the pout she gave me was so childish and cute I almost couldnt bare it. "later my Roza, we can continue this... later." I laughed as I placed another kiss on her forehead and then turned and headed out of the hospital room giving them one last glance.

I took the chance to go and get changed out of the clothes I had been in for the last while. Then headed to the cafe where Tasha was already seated at a table with two coffees waiting. I sat down thanking her for the drink before jumping straight into the conversation I wanted to have with her.  
"Tasha, I want to thank you for everything you've done for me in the last nine months. I dont know what I would have done if you hadnt taken me on as your guardian." I looked up at her from the coffee I was staring at in my hands. Her eyes were wide and her bottom lip was trembling slightly. Oh god, here come the water works I thought to myself.

"Youre... youre not going to be my guardian anymore?" she asked, her voice stuttering slightly.

I let out a small breathe before placing one hand on top of hers in a comforting gesture, "Im sorry Tasha, but I need to be here... with my family." I said quietly, hoping that she would understand.

"I've known you since we were children Dimka! You are like family to ME. Other than Chrsitian you are all I have" she replied looking down at our hands.

"I know, you've been like a sister to me Tasha, and I will always be there for you as a brother... but I have a son now, I cant just leave him, and I cant leave Roza... You know how I feel about her, none of it has changed since Ive been gone. I want to be with her, and she still wants to be with me."

She looked away, out the window of the cafe. She was lost in thought for a while, I couldnt read any of the emotions running through her face until she finally turned back, letting out a breathe and putting on a small sad smile. "Im happy for you Dimka, truely I am... it just hurts that you wont be around anymore... im going to miss you" She said sadly.

"hey... you could always move here, get into politics like you've always wanted. Otherwise you'll just have to visit more often." I smiled at her, it was true she has always been there for me, even as little kids and now she must feel like im abandoning her again like she thought I did when I was stationed at St Vlads. Atleast it seems like she is accepting my decision, shes not throwing a fit or storming out on me.

"You're right... well... thanks for talking to me about it Dimka, for letting me know yourself instead of hearing it elsewhere." she said before she downed the last of her coffee and got up to leave. "I'll see you later Dimka." She said as she walked out the door of the coffee shop leaving me a little stunned at her sudden departure.  
She took it better than I thought she would, she didnt fight me on it or try to argue with my decision like she usually would when she disagreed with something...

I was barely about to stand up when Eddie Castile, from st Vlads, all but ran into the cafe. He looked around wildly before spotting Guardian Hanz, who was sitting in the corner.

"Sir, Strigoi have been spotted not far from the wards. We believe they may be planning an attack." He spoke quietly to Hanz, but I was able to pick it up easily with my dhampir hearing. I bolted out of my chair and all but ran over to them.

"What do you mean? How many? How far?" I asked him urgently, if there was a chance they were going to attack we all needed to be ready.

Eddie turned to me shocked that I had interupted like I had, but he quickly shook himself and answered, "They were seen by the guardians patroling the wards, we arent sure how-" he was abruptly cut off by the sound of the alarm sirens blaring.

The wards had gone down

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**Dum dum duuuuum :o  
OH NO! whats going to happen now!?**

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	8. Chapter 8

**DPOV**

The first thing to run through my mind was Roza and Alex. Would they be safe? Are they protected? Who's guarding them? Who's keeping them safe?  
I bolted out of the cafe like a bullet, vaguely aware of Hanz and Eddie yelling after me, I didnt slow down to hear what they were saying, nothing was more important to me in that moment than to get to my family. I raced across the courtyard, jumping a small brick fence on the outskirts of the little garden. I could see Moroi and Guardians running around all over the place, guardians moving their charges to a safer place, and others trying to get to the wards to check what was going on.

I was just about outside of the hospital when I saw a dark shadow flash across the corner of my eye, I turned my head mid-stride in time to see a strigoi moving towards a young moroi women hurrying past the little path. I barely thought about it as I abruptly changed my course, I couldnt just ignore a threat like this, "Run!" I shouted at the women, she gave me a startled expression before a noise in the opposite direction caught her attention. She turned towards the noise just as the strigoi was about to jump at her. She let out an ear piercing scream.

NO! I was almost there, I pushed myself harder Until I was able to launch myself at him. My shoulder connected with his chest, pushing him backwards with so much force that he flew into the side of the building. I stopped myself infront of him, whiping out my stake at the same moment.  
"Run! Get out of here." I yelled at the women who I could feel staring at me from behind. I didnt turn to her, keeping my eyes fixed on the strigoi infront of me, until I finally heard her run away towards the hospital building.

The strigoi, a muscular, dirty blonde haired man. I presumed ex-guardian from the look of him, picked himself up and shook himself off, turning to face me with an amused smirk on his face. "Well that was certainly unexpected." He growled taking a step towards me.  
I didnt say anything, just raised my arms up in a defensive stance, stake held out infront of me.  
"The silent type huh?" He laughed taking another slow step towards me, he was trying to taunt me, to get some sort of reaction out of me. I let a half smile creep onto my face, yes I know it was cocky, but I knew I could take this guy down. Id been in far, far worse situations before.

His smirk dropped from his face when he saw the smile on mine, he growled menacingly and then in the blink of an eye he was racing at me. I barely had time to register that he had moved, I dodged slightly to the left as his fist flew out towards my face. I dropped low and swung my leg around, aiming to knock his feet out from under him but He was onto it enough that he saw the attack and flipped himself backwards. Landing smoothly on his feet and righting himself before I could attack again.  
Yes, I was sure he was definitely a guardian before he was turned.

We circled eachother slowly, I waited for him to make the first move. I didnt have to wait long though, as he threw himself at me trying to use his full weight to push me backwards, but I faked a dodge to the left which he expected, although he didnt expect me to change at the last second and go the other way, flinging my arm up and plunging the stake straight into his cold undead heart. His body twitched and then he slumpt to the ground beside me.

I let out a breath and glanced around to make sure there were no more strigoi lurking close by, when I was sure that there werent I continued back to the hospital. When I got there I found two guardians standing guard out front, I didnt recognise them as anyone I knew, but nodded to them as they let me pass without a second thought. I basically ran to Rozas room, passing many more guardians stationed outside moroi patients rooms. I rounded the corner to find her standing outside her door, dressed in a black tank top and dark blue jeans, a pair of sneakers on her feet and her stake in her hand. She looked like a true battle angel, standing in a defensive crouch like that.

The relief I felt in that moment was beyond words. The second her eyes laid on me she ran and barrelled into me. I spun her around in a cirlce, "Roza... thank god" I breathed as I pressed my face into the crook of her neck inhaling her wonderful scent.

"Me? Youre the one that was out there Comrade! I had no clue where you were, wether you were fighting or in trouble...I couldnt leave Alex though." She replied pulling back slightly to look into my eyes. I saw a hint of saddness and fear there.

"Good. I wouldnt want you to leave him. You have to protect him with your life just as I will with mine." I stated back to her, using the tone I would give her back when I was her mentor. She smiled back at me, greatful that I understood her decision.

"So what exactly is going on? All Ive been told is that strigoi were spotted and then the wards went down? Lissa and Christian have been hidden away somewhere safe but even they havent been told exactly whats going on..." She trailed off.

I released my hold on her, keeping one arm on her hip, I couldnt bare to let her go completely, not yet. "I dont know, Eddie ran into the cafe I was at and I over heard him saying the same thing to Guardian Hanz. I ran into one strigoi on the way over here, it was only him though, I didnt run into anymore." I replied watching the concern in her eyes as I mentioned my run in, I saw her eyes run up and down my body assessing me for injuries. She gave me a quick kiss on the lips and a smile when she realised I was perfectly fine.  
"Im going to go find someone and find out exactly whats going on, you have your phone on you?" I asked her, raising one eyebrow. She nodded her head, pulling it out of her pocket. "Good. Call me if anything happens here, and as soon as I know something I will let you know. Stay safe my Roza." I kissed her forehead and turned on my heel running back outside.

The scene outside shocked me, there were strigoi bodies littered in corners, and a couple of guardians still battling it out, trying to keep the strigoi from getting further into court. I glanced around until I saw Guardian Marnia struggling to hold her own against two well built strigoi, I raced to her side and threw myself at one of them, pinning him against the wall and using that moment of shock to drive my stake into his chest killing him instantly.  
Guardian Marina used the distraction to stake the other strigoi at the same time, she turned and nodded her thanks to me before heading out to find more.

I moved my way around to the back of the building, towards the wards to see how bad the fighitng was around there and almost stopped dead in my tracks. I could see fire shooting up in bright bursts and I could hear the sounds of struggling and then a slight scream. I raced further around the corner until I came to a horrifying scene. There were guardian bodies on the ground, all of them had their throughts ripped out, there was so much blood I had to gulp back the bile rising in my stomach.

My head snapped up as I heard someone shout. I ran foreward in time to see Eddie get thrown against the brick building behind him. His head snapped back in a painful sounding thud and he slumpt slightly to the ground. He wasnt knocked out so much as just stunned. He looked up as I moved foreward. The strigoi that had been fighting him turned to me at the same time, the menacing smirk was much the same as the strigoi I had fought and killed before. His hair was black and matted, and his eyes looked like they had been a soft blue before being defiled with the red strigoi ring. Moroi, I thought to myself, by the look of his height and size.

He took a step towards me and crouched, letting a growl escape his lips but then he surprised me as he stopped, stood up to his full height and smiled at me. It confused me untill I felt a pair of cold hands grip my arms and twist them sharply and painfull behind my back, forcing me down to my knees.  
Damn it! How had I been so distracted that I hadnt noticed my surroundings! Id let another one sneak up on me without knowing it. I mentally slapped myself for this possibly fatal mistake.

I tried to yank my arms free a couple of times but it was useless, whoever was holding me had an iron firm grip.  
"Now, now Belikov." The black haired strigoi sneered, waving his finger at me, like I was a child who had done something wrong. "One wrong move and we'll rip that pretty little head off." He stepped closer to me, bending down infront of me so that we were both at eye level with eachother.

"What the hell do you want." I hissed at him, surely a group of strigoi would have a purpose for breaking into court, and it would have to be something big for them to recruit this many strigoi.

"Its not what we want... but WHO we want." He smirked. "You see, we have eyes and ears everywhere. We know who the best of the best are, and so... we're here to collect and recruit." He grinned widely at me this time.

"What...What do you mean recruit? No one here will go with you, not without a fight." I growled back at him, of course I knew what he meant, and I also knew that it wasnt a choice we got to make if they were able to incapacitate the guardian that they wanted... like the way they currently held me. I shunted slightly as he suddenly jerked my face closer to his, forcing me to look directly into his eyes.

"You dont have a choice." He laughed in my face before releasing me again and standing to his feet.

"Who are you after anyway." I spoke, I figured they were either going to kill me any minute or someone would be here to help. There had to be more guardians on their way around here right?

"hmmm lets see..." he said, looking up and tapping his finger against his chin as though he was thinking really heard, "Well... theres Calito, Knight, Castile..." He spoke, turning and stepping back infront of me and forcing me to my feet, "Hathaway... and you." He growled the last part, My eyes went wide and I let out a gasp just as he yanked me towards him and I felt his fangs graze my neck.

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**ohhhhhhh cliff-hanger!**

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	9. Chapter 9

**ROSES POV**

I had no clue what was going on, one second everything had been quiet, I'd just fed Alex and put him to bed in his little cot watching him sleep peacefully, and the next thing I knew the alarm sirens were going off meaning that the wards were down?!  
I slipped into Lissas head as I felt the anxious emotions and the fear trickling through the mental blocks. Christian and her were being led down a corridor and into a large room where a bunch of other royals were gathered. I was as confused as she was until we both overheard someone explaining that the room was warded as extra protection in case a strigoi attack like this happened.

Strigoi?! How the hell did they get in here. How many were there? How serious was this attack?

I pulled myself out of her head being satisfied that she was atleast protected and I wouldnt have to add her to my list of worries.

I dressed as quickly as I could into the clothes that Lissa had bought me earlier and after making sure the room was totally secure I stood guard outside the door. If strigoi or anyone else got in here I would deal with them before they came anywhere near my son.

I stood out there for only a second when I realised Dimitri had gone outside, I had no idea where he was right now, or what he was doing. Could he be stuck fighting whoever broke in? Could he be hurt right now and I dont even know it? I took one step away from the door, a war of my own going on in my head. Do I leave Alex to find Dimitri... or do I leave Dimitri and stay with Alex? I was almost to the point of tears not knowing what to do when I heard running footsteps and Dimitri himself turned the corner.

I have never in my life been so happy to see anyone. He truely looked like death in a duster. All 6"7 of him coming to a standstill as soon as he locked eyes with me, his black duster still waving slightly from his prior movements, his light brown hair was tyed but a few strands had come loose and were framing his face perfectly.

I didnt even think about it as the relief swept over me and I ran full force into him, his arms instantly circled my waist and he swung me around in a circle.  
"Roza... thank god" he breathed against my neck.

"Me? Youre the one that was out there Comrade! I had no clue where you were, wether you were fighting or in trouble...I couldnt leave Alex though." I said quietly, I was hoping he would think I made the right choice, our son couldnt protect himself and I couldnt let anything happen to him, ever.

"Good. I wouldnt want you to leave him. You have to protect him with your life just as I will with mine." He said, pulling me back to look at me properly. He was willing to lay his life down for the son he just found out about, he was already so attached to Alexavier that he would risk himself to keep him safe. I smiled as I recognised his 'no nonsense, you know im right' mentor tone from back at the academy.

I dropped the smile as I asked my next question. I needed to know what was going on and so far I hadnt gotten any real answers from anyone. "So what exactly is going on? All Ive been told is that strigoi were spotted and then the wards went down? Lissa and Christian have been hidden away somewhere safe but even they havent been told exactly whats going on..."

"I dont know, Eddie ran into the cafe I was at and I over heard him saying the same thing to Guardian Hanz. I ran into one strigoi on the way over here, it was only him though, I didnt run into anymore." The moment he admitted to being in a fight with one already I got worried, was he hurt and I hadnt even realised? I ran my eyes up and down his body but couldnt find anything wrong. Thank goodness, I thought as I leaned in and gave him a quick sweet kiss. "Im going to go find someone and find out exactly whats going on, you have your phone on you?" He said, I just nodded and pulled it out of my pocket. "Good. Call me if anything happens here, and as soon as I know something I will let you know. Stay safe my Roza." He kissed my forehead and then turned and left.

"You too Comrade..." I whispered after him. I turned my head and peered through the door I was guarding. I could see Alex still sleeping soundly in his little cot, a small sad smile graced my lips. Such a sweet, innocent boy... and within his first couple of days of life hes already in danger or losing it. Well I wouldnt let it happen, as long as I can, I will keep him safe.

I whipped around and back into my defensive stance as I heard more footsteps running towards me, only to see two guardians round the corner and halt in their tracks when they saw me.  
"Hathaway" One of them panted, eyeing me up and down for a second. I relaxed my stance and stood up straight. "They need you out there, its a massacre and Hanz wants all the _best _available guardians." He said, putting emphasis on the word best.

I shook my head straight away, "Im not leaving my son." I stated firmly, crossing my arms. Theres no way they could make me, I dont care.  
"Rose...Go, Ill protect Alexavier... Dont worry, you'll do more good out there..." I looked up as Adrian stepped in front of the two guardians, I hadnt even realised he had approached us. I hesitated, looking at Adrian and then into the window of my sons room. "He'll be fine, Ill protect him, I swear." He said, moving foreward and placing a hand on my shoulder.

I knew he was right, I knew I had to help fight them off, that was the best way to protect my son... and help protect Dimitri, and everyone else at court.  
I nodded once, looking Adrian straight in his emerald green eyes. "Thankyou" I whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek and then moving out after the two guardians. I had to put my faith and trust in Adrian that he would keep his word and protect Alex no matter what.

I walked out through the automatic doors of the hospital and immediately froze in my tracks. There was so much blood... so many bodies... from both sides. I could see strigoi laying dead along side some guardians and even a couple of moroi. I shook my head, this attack must be huge. I turned to the guardians beside me, "Where are most of them left?" I asked.

"Just around back, they all came in through the same side. We have managed to keep most at bay around there... but some got through..." He said, incling his head towards the death scene in front of us, his face was grim.  
I just nodded silently before beginning a quiet jog towards the back of the building he had motioned towards. I could hear distant sounds of fighting and shouting as I got closer, I was about to pick up the pace as I got to the corner untill I heard them talking. I froze when I heard his voice, I would recognise it anywhere, I stopped and pushed myself against the corner of the building so that I wasnt noticed.

"What...What do you mean recruit? No one here will go with you, not without a fight." He half growled, his voice sounded so strained like he was fighting to keep control of himself. I had to see what was going on so I edged slightly closer to the corner and snuck a look. I was horrified at the scene infront of me.

Dimitri was on his knees, with a bulky strigoi standing behind him twisting his arms behind his back, and another black haired strigoi crouched menacingly infront of him. I cringed as the black haired one yanked Dimitris face closer to his.

"You don't have a choice." He basically laughed as he let go and stood up to his full height and took a step away. I followed the direction he glanced in and saw Eddie laying against the building, his eyes only half open as he watched the scene infront of him as well. I could see blood on the wall and on the side of his head, he must have been thrown against it pretty hard.

"Who are you after anyway." My Russian god spoke, his teeth clenched slightly.

The strigoi turned his attention back to him, "hmmm lets see..." he began tapping one finger against his chin and looking thoughtful, "Well... theres Calito, Knight, Castile..." he took another step back to Dimitri and in one swift movement had jerked him to his feet. I braced myself, this strigoi was going to hurt him... or worse. I couldnt let that happen.

I only just heard the last part of his sentence as I charged him, "Hathaway... and you."  
I was only metres away as the black haired strigoi lowered his fangs to Dimitris neck. The adrenaline pumped through my body and I pushed my self harder. I heard Dimitris gasp as the fangs sunk in and then a slight moan as the strigoi endorphins suddenly entered his system. I had my stake in my hand as I charged full force into the brute that had held Dimitris hands behind his back. He didnt even have time to defend himself as my stake plunged straight through his chest and connected with its target, the shock drained from his face as he fell to the ground.

The black haired strigoi was just as shocked as his friend had been, except he had more time to prepare. He dropped Dimitri onto the ground, where he lay motionless. My eyes flickered to his chest, I let out a low breath as I watched it rise and fall slowly. Atleast he was still alive... I just hoped he would stay that way.

"ahhh Im so glad you could join the party, Hathaway." The strigoi smirked, raising his arms slightly at the scene around us.  
"well, its just not a party if im not there." I replied, smirking slightly. There was no way I would show my fear in front of a strigoi, not now, not ever.  
He laughed at my response before his face snapped back and he was completely serious again, taking a couple of slow, casual steps towards me. I lowered myself into a defencive stance, with my stake in one hand.

"now, now, Rose. Come on. This doesnt have to get messy. Join us, come and be part of the revolution." He said, his eyes glistened slightly emphasising the red ring in them.  
"No way in hell. Id rather die than ever be part of your dirty race." I hissed at him, putting as much of a glare on my face as I could. His expression grew cold. Colder than Id ever seen before, it sent a chill up my spine.  
"Like I said to your friend over there... You wont have a choice." He smiled wickedly at me and then he just disappeared.

I blinked in confusion. He had been right there. Where the hell did he go?  
I whipped my head around in confusion, trying to find any sign of him but coming up empty.

"you're better than that Hathaway." I heard him laugh. Following the sound of his voice with my eyes I saw him standing in the line of trees just to my right. Damn this guy is fast.  
"And youre running scared?" I taunted him, I knew it probably wasnt the smartest thing to do but hey, im Rose Hathaway. When do I ever do the smart thing.

I jumped slightly as he spoke again, "Never.." he whispered right in my ear.

I swung my arm around, stake pointed straight out but came up empty as I spun in a full circle.  
How the hell was he so fast?! My head whipped around again, looking everywhere for the bastard but still coming up empty.

"Now... you're mine." He growled from directly behind me, and my eyes went wide as I felt the familiar prick of his fangs on my neck and then, the sweet, sweet rush of endorphins untill the world went black.

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**:) Thanks for the reviews guys, im trying to get atleast 1 review for every chapter :D  
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	10. Chapter 10

**Rpov**

You know when you have a really bad nightmare, where youre running away or fighting something off and youre sweating really bad, the adrenalin is pumping and then something huge happens that shocks you awake? Thats what it felt like.

My eyes shot open with a start, almost like I had been electrocuted or something. Whipping my head around wildly, taking in my surroundings. I was laying on the ground, panting hard. I squeezed my eyes shut as my head pounded and my body ached. What had happened? The Last thing I remember... That black haired strigoi... He... He bit me!

My eyes flew open and I launched myself up off the ground. My hand went to my neck as I spun in a slow circle looking all around me. Where was he? Where did he go? I had to kill him for what he did!

"Rose...?" Eddie coughed from his position against the building. I whirled on him about to assault him with questions when I abruptly froze. Anger bubbled up in my mind taking over all other emotion. Eddie had been useless, hed been beaten far too easily. He just lay there and watched Dimitri almost die. He was a useless guardian! My fists clenched into tight balls as I thought of him just laying there when the strigoi had held Dimitri about to kill him. He deserved to die...

Wait.. What?! No! Eddie was like my brother, what am I thinking?

As I looked at him my eyes wandered over his beaten, bruised and bloody body... Blood... My eyes lingered on the crimson blood that was caked on his forehead. I could smell the tangy iron scent and I realised that it appealed to me. I imagined what it would feel like... What it would taste like... I felt a slight pop in my mouth, surprised, I immediately ran my tongue over the area. I could feel long, sharp extended fangs...

Fangs?!

My mouth dropped open and my eyes widdened. The last thing I remember was that strigoi biting me... He had wanted me and Dimitri... Oh god.

Everything suddenly fell into place in my head. My worse nightmare had become a reality... I was strigoi!

I closed my eyes, running over everything I knew about strigoi, everything that I had learned at the academy and since then. They were unfeeling, emotionless, soulless, evil beings who killed for the sake of killing.

I couldnt believe it, how could this happen!? How could my life be turned so suddenly inside out and upside down. Everything had been perfect a couple of hours ago, and now... Now my life was over. I was, for all intense purposes, dead.

I heard a groan behind me, my body tensing. I knew who it came from instantly but I couldnt make myself turn towards him. I couldnt let him see me like this.

"Rose... Rose, thank god youre ok." he half groaned, half whispered. I must not be fully turned yet because my heart clenched in heart wrenching pain as he spoke, he thought I was fine, he thought everything was ok. How wrong he was...

Eddie was still looking at me, his eyes wide with terror as he trailed up and down my body, landing lastly on my face. His eyes locked with mine and I saw the sorrow and the ache in his eyes as he took in my changed appearance. Well I hadnt seen myself yet, but I could only assume that he was seeing the pale white skin and the now red ringed eyes.

"Rose?" Dimitri questioned again obviously confused as to why I hadnt yet turned and gone to him. I squeezed my eyes shut, I couldnt face him, I refuse to let him see me like this.

"Dimitri... Look after Alexavier... Promise me." I whispered still looking at Eddie.

"What?... Rose what are..."

with my increased hearing I could hear him struggling to lift himself off the ground.

I got angry then, "Promise me! Dimitri Belikov promise me you will protect our son with everything you have" I yelled at him. My fists clenching at my sides as I tried to control myself.

"I... Of course, I told you before WE will protect him..." He said, I could hear the confusion in his voice as he tried to work out where I was going with this.

"good." I barely whispered, and then just as I heard him take a step towards me, I took off into the trees. I couldnt stay here, I was a strigoi now, I was dangerous and I couldnt put my loved ones in danger like that. I refused to, even if I was evil now, I would do everything within my power to stay away from them so I couldnt harm them.

What a messed up situation Im in now. I didnt know where exactly I was going, just that I needed to run. Run as far and as fast as I could. The priority at the top of my list right now though... Find and kill that bastard strigoi who did this to me.

**DPOV**

I struggled to open my eyes, they felt so heavy and my body felt so weak. I forced my self to concentrate on what was going on around me. There was barely any sounds, no movement that I could hear. I tried to think back to what had happened before I blacked out... I remembered being held by the strigoi, and his cold breathe on my neck as he sunk his fangs in... And then nothing... I just blacked out... But did that mean I was dead? Or worse?

I decided straight away that I couldnt be dead since my body ached so badly... So was I one of them?... I groaned as I lifted one arm, it was still an olive tan colour... I ran my tongue along my teeth, no fangs...So I wasnt a strigoi? I let out a breathe that I didnt even realise I had been holding.

I turned my head to the side, looking for some telling of what was going on and was surprised to see my Roza standing a little way away facing Eddie who was still slumpt against the wall.

I couldnt understand the expression on his face. He looked scared, terrified almost and a hint of saddness was in his eyes...

"Rose... Rose, thank god youre ok." I managed to croak out. I watched as her body tensed fractionally, but what surprised me was that she didnt turn to me, she barely even acknowledged me.

"Rose?" I asked again, maybe she just hadnt realised it was me...

She still didnt turn to me as she whispered her next sentence "Dimitri... Look after Alexavier... Promise me."

I was totally confused, why was she saying this to me? Why did she want me to promise her something like that? She knows I would lay my life down for him, and for her. So why was she asking me again? And why now?

"what?...Rose what are..." I tried to get up as I spoke but she cut me off,

"Promise me! Dimitri Belikov promise me you will protect our son with everything you have!" the fierce uncontrolled anger in her voice shocked me, ive never heard her like that... Not even when the darkness took hold...

"I... Of course, I told you before WE will protect him..." I spoke slightly louder then I had been before. I didnt know where she was going with this, but for her to talk this way I could only think the worst... What was she planning? What happened to make her act like this?

"Good." was all she whispered, I took a small step towards her, I was going to make her tell me what was wrong, to tell me why she refused to look at me.

But then...just like that... She was gone.

I stood there staring after her, or atleast the area in the trees that had suddenly swayed when she disappeared. I stood with one arm raised, as if I might be able to pull her back with just that motion.

My mind was racing, I couldnt understand what had just happened... She left? Shes gone? Why? What has happened to my Roza?

"Dimitri..." Eddie groaned against the wall, dragging my gaze from the trees to his beaten face. He still wore the same look as he had before, and I still could not understand it... But now, when I looked I noticed the streaks down his cheeks... He was crying?!

Thats when something in my mind clicked. I dont know how I came to the conclusion... But something in me told me that it was correct...Her reluctance to look at me... Her sudden burst of anger... Her speed when she left...

"no..." I whispered, complete and utter pain lacing my tone as I stared at Eddies face. He just closed his eyes and nodded twice slowly.

I couldnt handle it, I dropped to my knees and slammed my fists into the ground. The pain and heartache was overwhelming as I realised what had just happened...

The love of my life... The mother of my son... My beloved Roza... Was a strigoi.

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**Dont shoot me!**

**I know its sad :( but theres a light at the end of every tunnel :)**

**Review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Hey__ guys,  
Thanks for the awesome Reviews, I love getting feedback :)  
Im pretty sure I know where I want this story to lead, but if you think its getting a bit 'far fetched' let me know!_**

**_This chapter is slightly longer just for you XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX :)_**

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**DPOV**

I sat there on the ground for what felt like a very long time, staring at the path in the trees that Rose had taken, Where was she going? What was she doing? Was she really an evil, emotionless monster now? I couldnt bare to think of Roza living her days as an evil strigoi... I couldnt imagine MY Roza taking pleasure in killing... it wasnt her... She was a beautiful caring soul, always putting others before her... she put me before her own life when she took on both strigoi that held me... she was protecting us all... she left Alex to help us...

Alexavier...thinking of him helped me pull myself together, just barely, and help Eddie to the hospital to get checked out, and after leaving him with the nurses I walked solemly back to Alexs room. Halfway down the corridor I could hear a child wailing, I didnt even realise it was him untill I rounded the corner and saw a guard outside the door, standing with his hands behind his back and looking in through the window with a slightly annoyed, pained expression on his face.

He looked up as I came around the corner and his expression changed to one of relief. "Thank goodness youre back Guardian Belikov, he's been like this for almost a half hour straight. Adrian looks like hes having a real hard time trying to calm him..." He started to say more before trailing off as he took in the look on my face, I knew I had let my guardian mask slip but I couldnt find the strength in me to try and stop or hide my emotions. I had pushed open the doors and walked straight over to where Adrian sat holding Alex in his arms, bouncing him slightly, he looked just as relieved as the guard was when he handed Alex over to me. The second he was in my arms he quietened his wailing to just a soft whimper.

"looks like he just wanted mum and dad..." Adrian started to say, then as if just noticing I was alone, he looked at my face and drew in a sharp breath, "Where is Rose?" he asked quietly.

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears building up in them again as I fought the pain that ripped through my heart every time I thought about todays events. I shook my head as if it would wipe the memories away, make them not hurt as much...make them that much less true... but it didnt work. I opened my eyes and glanced at Adrian, he was shaking his head slightly, his mouth open and his eyes wide in horror as the possibilities of what could have happened raced through his mind.

"Shes... shes..." I tried to choke out, but speaking just made the pain worse, it was as though if I said it out loud then it would become all the more real... I didnt want it to be real... I wanted so badly to just wake up in bed with my Roza wrapped in my arms. Being able to hold her, and kiss her and just BE with her...very un-guardian like, I dropped to my knees for the second time today as the grief washed over me. I clutched my son to my chest and I could hear Adrian whispering, "no..no..no..no it cant be... it just cant be..." It was too much for me and I couldnt hold them back anymore, I just let the tears fall.

He stood up off the bed, "Dimitri it cant be true. Rose isnt dead. She just cant be. Tell me its not true." He shouted at me.

I just shook my head, looking up at him with tears still falling from my eyes I whispered "Its not... shes not dead...its worse... Adrian shes... shes strigoi..."

He stared at me with wide horror filled eyes for a moment, and then without a word he ran from the room, bursting through the doors and I listened as his footsteps retreated down the corridor.

I sat on the floor holding Alex for who knows how long. I just rocked back and forth whispering in Russian to him, "im so sorry son... its my fault... im so sorry... its all my fault" the tears never stopped falling. At one point a nurse came in, but as soon as she saw me she stopped and quickly murmured, "His discharge papers have been signed, you may take him home whenever you wish." And then she turned and left just as fast.

So he was ready to come home... to start his new life with us... I almost laughed at the irony. almost.  
Where was his home now? He had no mother, his father was a sorry excuse for a guardian not even being able to protect the love of his life. If I couldnt protect her then how was I supposed to protect him?  
"What am I going to do.." I whispered pulling him up and resting my tear stained cheek against his.

"You're going to get up off that floor, stop feeling sorry for yourself, look after your son like the amazing father I know you are. AND help us find Rose."

I whipped my head around to the door to see Lissa standing in the doorway with a scowl on her face and her hands on her hips. The minute she saw my face she dropped the scowl and her face softened. She ran over and threw her arms around me and Alex.  
"Dimitri... im so sorry... I cant believe its happened either...but i cant, and I wont believe that shes gone... I dont know how yet but we have to save her... we have to atleast try to save her." She said quietly. Save her? What was she talking about? did she mean we had to kill her? no... I dont think I could do that, I dont think I could kill the love of my life... but I'd have to... for my Roza, I remember the silent promise we had made on the trip to the mall... we would not let the other live a souless life as stigoi...

She saw the puzzled expression on my face and the tiniest hint of a smile twitched at one corner of her mouth. "Shes not dead... not completely... Dimitri if she was dead, if she was fully strigoi I would feel it. Our bond is still alive, that means somewhere, deep inside, part of her is too. If there is anyway of saving her... of bringing her back, then we have to find it. I wont rest untill we do."

wait... she couldnt mean... Its impossible...once a strigoi is turned, thats it, theyre basically dead, souless blood sucking creatures... theres no way of changing them back, is there?

I forgot how to breathe, if it wasnt for the fact that she still held me im pretty certain I would have fallen on my face on the floor. She believed it was possible to bring Roza back... to turn her back into a dhampir... I was at a loss for words, so I just sat there staring at her.

"Come on, lets get you two home..." she trailed off for a second as a confused look crossed her features. "Would you both like to stay with us? Christian and I can help look after Alex... I know he will be hard work the first little while..." She murmured placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I just nodded to her, I couldnt take him back to Rozas.. it would be too painful, too much of a reminder of her...

* * *

***TWO MONTHS LATER***

"Dimitri! you'll never guess what we've found!" Lissa practically screamed at me as I walked in the door pushing a finally sleeping Alex. I immediately put my finger to my lips and told her to shush. Id learnt that my son definitely had a pair of lungs on him and he wasnt afraid to use it when someone woke him up, he loved his sleep just like his mom had.

"ohh sorry." she smiled sheepishly as she peered into the pushchair Alexavier was fast asleep in. I just shook my head in amusement and took him into the room that both he and I were staying in.

Lissa had done well to transform one of her spare rooms into a half nursery, baby blue wallpaper, white dressing tables, my single bed against one wall and a beautiful wooden cot sitting underneath the large window, photos were lined up on the wall so that Alex could always see those that love him, the biggest photo was one of Roza smiling widely at the camera, holding up a large slice of pizza in one hand and a chocolate donut on the other. It always tore at my heart when I saw it, but I needed Alex to know his mothers face, he needed to know her...

I placed a soft kiss on his forhead, smoothing the tuft of brown hair off his forehead, he was getting so much bigger everyday. Looking more and more like Roza, with his plump olive cheeks and those beautiful brown eyes. His hair was getting darker everyday so that it was looking alot like hers, but when he was in the sun it would lighten so that it looked closer in colour to mine. "I love you my darling son." I whispered in Russian to him before quietly stepping out of the room and making my way to the living room.

Lissa was now sitting on the couch, her legs tucked under her and a laptop sitting on her lap. Christian was in his usual position on the beanbag playing some game on the playstation. I would never understand his love of video games...

"So as I was going to say, Dimitri we found another spirit user!" She clapped her hands together with a huge triumphant smile on her face.  
"ok... " I said, I hadnt even realised we were looking for other spirit users, I thought we were looking for Roza, and a way to help her... I must have looked as confused as I felt because she carried on.

"Well her names Oksana, and she has apparently heard of someone who knew someone who knew how to turn strigoi back..." Her eyes were shining with this news. I couldnt help the smile that lit up my face, any thing new was incredible since for the last 2 months we had come up with nothing at all. We didnt have a clue where Roza could be or who would be able to help. So Lissa, Christian, Adrian and I had been using books and the internet to research whatever information we could but everytime we thought we had found a lead on how to change her back it would come to a dead end.

"Wait... what did you say her name was?" I asked.. Oksana... that sounded vaguely familiar...

"Oksana. She lives in Russia with her husband." Lissa said raising one eyebrow at me.

"I think I know them...Mark and Oksana, they live in Baia, my hometown. They have been there since I was a child...if its really the same people Im thinking of" I smiled as I thought back to the times as a child I would see them around town, they knew my family quite well but I didnt have much to do with them.

"What? you knew a spirit user and you never mentioned it?!" Lissa scowled slightly at me, crossing her arms dramatically as she did.

"No, I know the couple, I didnt know that Oksana was a spirit user, come on Lissa, the first I heard of spirit, other than legends, was when you found out its what you specialised in. " I replied defensively. I usually wouldnt speak to her like that, but she had convinced me to just be myself around them when we were at home.

"Well... how would you feel about a trip home?" She asked me with a grin on her pale angelic face. I stared at her for a moment, was she serious? we were going to go to Baia? I havent been there for almost 5 years... I can see my family again... Mama can meet her grandson... I nodded my head at Lissa who was still watching me expectantly.

"Great, Ill book the tickets now." The grin never left her face as she turned back to the laptop.

We sat in silence, I was thinking about home, about my sisters and mama, and babushka... I hadnt even told them I had a son, how would they react? what would they think? Babushka probably already knew, I smiled slightly thinking about my 'crazy' grandmother.

Christian rustled around in his beanbag turning to face me, "Anything new from the guardians about Roses whereabouts?" He asked.

I looked down at my hands, "no, nothing new exactly, they said there had been a report or two of someone similar to her in Texas... but they werent even sure if it was true...why would she go there anyway? It doesnt make sense... they're still going to follow the lead though." I responded automatically, it was exactly what Eddie had told me when I had seen him earlier today.

"Texas?" Christian said, his face scrunching up slightly. "Shes never mentioned anything about Texas... I dont even think she knew it was a real place." He laughed. I had to chuckle in response, geography was never one of Rozas strong points. Remembering Roza from our time back at the academy would always put a smile on my face, remembering her sarcastic attitude, the way she was always so confident and sure of herself. 2 months ago I never would have believed I could smile again, but I had to be strong and to carry on for the sake of Alexavier and everyone else.

"Alright, we leave first thing tomorrow morning." Lissa smiled shutting her laptop, pulling herself up off the couch and stretching her arms up. "Im going to go and inform Adrian, hes coming too, and I was thinking Eddie would want to come along as well?" She looked to me as she spoke, she knew I didnt like Adrian very much, he openly blamed me for what happened to Rose, he said if she hadnt loved me so damn much then she wouldnt have thrown herself into the fight and been so distracted. I had to agree with him, but I wouldnt let him know that or see how much his blame truely affected me. And Eddie was like the protective brother to Rose, he wanted to help with everything in order to get her back. I was greatful for his help and his brotherly affection for her.

I just nodded at her as she walked out of the room with Christian in tow, leaving me alone in the living room with my thoughts.

I was amazed at how strong Lissa was being, how strong she had been since she found out that day... Not once have I seen her cry... Ive heard her sobbing occasionally in her bedroom, but she has never openly cried infront of me. I could only imagine the pain she is in, her best friend in the whole entire world was currently the creature that sought to kill and destroy but she didnt let it affect her in public... I admired Lissas strength, the fact that she believed with everything she was that there would be a way to turn Rose back, and if anyone could do it, I truely believed without a doubt it was Lissa.

A little while later there was a light knock at the door. I pulled myself up and went over to open it.

"Dimka." Tasha smiled, "How are you?"  
"Im doing good Tasha, how are you?" I replied politely. Ever since I stopped being her guardian and she had heard about Rose she comes around almost everyday, she says its because she wants to make sure everyone is ok, but Im not sure. I think shes still holding out hope that I will forget about Rose and move on... That would never happen though, My Roza is my one and only, she always will be.

"What can I do for you Tasha?" I asked her, stepping out of the door and inviting her inside.  
"I came to see if you needed any help with Alex? Or with anything really." She said turning her gaze on me, concern written all over her features.  
"We're fine, hes sleeping at the moment, and Lissa and Christian are a great help to me when he gets to be too much." I replied heading into the living room to sit down.

She followed slowly behind and sat across from me on the sofa.  
She stared at me for a minute before reaching foreward and taking one of my hands, "Im always here for you, you know that right Dimka. I want you to be happy and to stop moping around the house. You need to get out and move on with your life..." She spoke with so much certainty.

I couldnt help it, I just got angry. I was always so good with selfcontrol but this... the way she was talking... the way she was always talking nowdays, it just made me loose it. My control snapped.

"No. I will NOT move on Tasha, I will NOT rest untill I have my Roza back. Im sorry if you think I could ever move on, I could NEVER love someone like I love her, I will never love anyone else, EVER! We WILL get her back" I had jumped up off the chair and was practically yelling. I honestly dont know what happened, It was like something literally snapped inside me, I wasnt just mad I was furious, not just at Tasha but at everything. Every single thing that had happened to lead to this moment. Me leaving, Roza being taken... I picked up the first thing I saw, the phone that was sitting on the coffee table and threw it as hard as I could against the wall opposite me, watching as it shattered into hundreds of pieces.

Tasha stood up slowly, a look of terror and shock on her face as she backed slowly away. "Im... im sorry Dimka..." She stuttered out, her bottom lip was trembling and I could see tears building in her eyes.

My anger disappeared as I looked at her scared expression. "Tasha... im sorry... I didnt mean to..." I started to apologise but just then Alex started crying down the hall and I glanced in that direction before looking back to where Tasha had turned and was walking out the front door as fast as she could.

I took a couple of deep breathes to calm myself down, before walking down to check on my son.

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**I know this is just a sort of filler chapter, I will get to the next one and put in some drama :D**

**Review please :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**DPOV**

I took a long, deep breath, I dont know why I was so nervous exactly, It was just my family, I knew they would be extrememly welcoming no matter what... so why was I so afraid...afraid of their reactions?... I guess the main reason was currently squirming in my arms... Alexavier. What would they think of him? Would they even believe me about him? What would they think about the fact that I was currently searching for his strigoi mother?

I paused with my hand raised to the door, glancing behind me at the group that was waiting. Lissa gave me a warm, reasurring smile.

I knocked on the door and waited with held breath as I heard loud footsteps banging around, and yelling in Russian, on the otherside before someone finally flung the door open.

It was silent for a moment, as we just stared at eachother. She looked the same as she had 5 years ago, a few more wrinkles than I remembered but her deep brown eyes were as piercing as ever, boring into mine, the wrinkles that were lining her mouth becoming more prominant as she smiled a wide, knowing smile.

"Dimka, you took your time boy, you should never leave an old women waiting you know." she spoke to me in Russian, her eyes lowering to the small bundle in my arms. "may I? He may get a little squashed if you keep holding him in a moment." she cackled holding her arms out. Nothing seemed to ever surprise her, but She never failed to amaze me.

"Thankyou babushka, its so good to see you again." I replied as I gave her a hug and handed Alex to her, just in time too. As mama came around the corner of the kitchen,

"whos at the door ma-" she cut herself off when she saw me, her eyes widdened as the tea towel in her hand dropped to the floor, in the same instant she flung herself at me.

"Dimka! Oh my Dimka, its really you. Oh Ive missed you so much." she kissed me all over my face and hugged me tightly.

"Ive missed you too mama." I chuckled at her response, hugging her back just as tight before turning sideways and motioning towards the group behind me. "mama, I want you to meet Vasillisa Dragomir, Christian Ozera, Adrian Ivashkov and Guardian Eddie castile, Guardian Lorenza and Guardian torrance."

She greeted them all warmly in english and motioned for us to follow inside and make ourselves comfortable. I walked into the living room, and was immediately assaulted with the warm happy memories of my childhood. Growing up in this house with my sisters and my mother and babushka Yeva. Sitting around drinking hot chocolate on the cold winter nights, telling stories and just being a family, I missed it so much sometimes.

I was walking along the wall looking at all the family photos on the wall when I heard a scream and then a clatter as something hit the floor.

"Dimka!" two female voices scream at me as I turned around. Sonya and karolena crashed into me, both their arms circling my waist and squeezing me tight. They began talking a mile a minute but I couldnt understand a thing they said since they were speaking over eachother.

"karolena, sonya, Ive missed you. How are you both." I asked hugging them back fiercely. God, how I had missed my sisters. They both stepped away and I was shocked to see that sonya was heavily pregnant! She was so anti-early pregnancy last time I spoke to her, but I soon learned that she got pregnant to some moroi who made her think he loved her but he took off as soon as she told him, and karolena had a little girl called Zoya, who was with my nephew Paul asleep upstairs. They informed me that Vika was out with her boyfriend and wouldnt be back until later.

Once I had introduced them to everyone I had bought with me I sat in the chair beside babushka.

"so Dimka, ive been waiting for you to bring it up... But who is this gorgeous little man?" mama asked looking pointedly at babushka who was rocking back and forth in her chair with Alex.

"hes 2 months old and his full name is Alexavier Mitya Mason Belikov... Hes my son." I beamed, watching the expression on my mamas face.

There was a collection of gasps from my two sisters, and mamas eyes were wide as she looked at my son.

"Dimka... Why didnt you tell us sooner?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

I let out a small breath, I wasnt too sure how they would take this. "well...almost a year ago I left his mother, thinking it would be better for her to concentrate on protecting her charge... I didnt know she was pregnant untill I came back two months ago... The day she gave birth to him and I found out he was mine." I watched her face turn angry, she looked at me before throwing the teatowel that as on her shoulder in my direction.

"Dimitri Belikov. You mean to tell me that you left his mother pregnant and on her own!" her face changed suddenly then, turning to one of confusion, "wait... You said you left so she could concentrate on her charge... That would mean shes dhampir... but Dimka thats impossible..."

"not for my Roza mama, She was special, we dont know how it happened exactly, but we know she was shadow kissed, bonded to lissa, nothing about her was normal." I smiled warmly as I spoke of my Roza. Mama must have noted the saddness in my tone though, her face softened as she looked to Lissa for confirmation. Lissa blushed slightly and nodded that it was the truth.

"Rose wanted to tell him sooner... But she... Couldnt." Lissa said quietly locking eyes with me as she spoke.

Babushka handed Alex back to me, I cradled him in my arms, placing a soft kiss on his forehead as he looked at me with his big brown eyes, eyes the same size and shape as his mothers but the light brown shade of mine and he smiled a little gummy smile. I passed him around to everyone so they could meet their nephew and grandson. Getting lots of comments of "hes gorgeous" or "he looks just like you."

"So... where is Rose now then?"  
It was Karo that asked the question I had dreaded answering. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, I could already feel the despair building up, even after 2 long months it wasnt any easier. I hated reliving that day in my mind, but they should know the truth about what happened...

"The day after she gave birth to Alex there was an attack at court... I was caught by two strigoi, they had me pinned and I couldnt do anything... Just as one of them bit me, she appeared. She killed one of them but the other was so, so strong... he turned her..." I ended in a whisper.

"Oh my son..." Mama breathed, her face looked pained and full of saddness.

Babushka rose from her chair and made her way towards the stairs, she paused before climbing them and turned back to me. "Dont lose hope Dimka, When the time comes you'll know what you need to do... your heart is not lost... yet." she spoke solemnly, but with a gleam in her eyes and then she walked up the stairs, leaving us all slightly stunned.

My grandmother was always a little bit on the crazy side, alot of people thought she was mad, but I knew there was always some truth behind what she said... she'd been right in the past.

"Mama is it alright if my friends and I stay here for a few days? We have somethings we need to do in Baia." I asked, recovering from the moment.

"Of course Dimka, any friends of yours are welcome in our home. I'll set up the spare beds upstairs, im sure you are all tired and not used to our human schedule." She smiled warmly at everyone before making her way upstairs.  
Alex chose that moment to start getting fussy, I had fed him on our way over so I knew it wasnt because he was hungry.

"Im going to go for a run and hopefully get him to sleep, make yourselves at home." I said to Lissa as I got up.

* * *

Id been jogging for about half an hour, pushing Alex, who was still wide awake in his stroller. Being back in my home town was like going back in time, every shop I ran past, every street I went down reminded me of my childhood. So many good times and some bad, but I wouldnt change any of it. I slowed down as I came to a large playground at the edge of the town, it had been one of my favourites as a young boy. I remembered playing on the large jungle gym with Ivan and my sisters, and the time Karo had fallen from the monkey bars and broken her arm. Me and Ivan had to carry her all the way back to the house, and Mama had yelled at us for not taking better care of her.

I smiled as I walked past the big willow tree we used to sit under and climb through, it was at the beginning of the wooded walkway that we used to go down, I remember always having to hold Vikas hand when we did because she was scared there were monsters hiding in the trees.  
Halfway down the track Alex started gurgling and making happy little sounds, I stopped and kneeled beside his chair tickling his stomach lightly with my finger. He grinned at me and started waving his arms.

Thats when I heard a quiet snap behind me, like a twig breaking. I whirled around as fast as I could, my hand immediately going for my stake, How stupid of me, I hadnt realised how close the sun was to setting, although there was still too much sunlight for them to attack me here, there was still places they could be hiding in the shadows of the trees. I glanced along the tree line warily making sure that nothing was out of place, and turned Alexs pushchair back around the way we had come through.

"...Dimitri..." It was like an echo through the trees. I froze as my heart skipped a beat. That voice... it couldnt be... it just couldnt... I turned in a circle, trying to see where it had come from.  
"Roza?!" I called, though I felt stupid for doing it, of course she wasnt here, it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I ran my hands down my face and then continued pushing Alex back down the walkway, still looking through the trees for any signs of danger. Before long we came to the end of the walkway and headed back out into the open playground.

I couldnt help but glance back at the walkway, wondering wether I had really imagined it or not. The sight I saw sent a shiver down my spine and my heart started racing.  
Standing in the shadows of the large willow tree, at the entrance of the walkway, was my Roza. Her long dark brown, almost black, hair sat in small curls framing her face and cascading down her back, I could see the deep brown of her eyes, She looked amazing. Her beauty was still as breathtaking as ever, and then I noticed it... the paleness of her skin and the red tinge in her gorgeous eyes, but I couldnt find it in my to be scared of her... she still looked like my love, my Roza...

She took a step foreward, her arm started to rise from her side and the look on her face looked pained. "Comrade..." she whispered, a small smile on her beautiful lips.  
God that voice, how I had missed her sweet voice and that smile was like magic, lighting up my heart. I was lost in the moment, her being here, it was like I completely forgot that she was strigoi... all I could think was that this is MY Roza...  
"Roza... Ive missed you..." I whispered back, taking a step towards her. Alex let out a small cry and I watched as Rozas eyes immediately flicked to the pushchair.

"Alexavier." Her face changed suddenly. She looked back at me, pain and hurt crossed her face and then just like that, she was gone. For the second time My Roza disappeared. Taking my heart and soul with her again. I stood there, as still as stone watching the place where she stood, willing her to come back to me. Thats when I saw something white sitting in the spot she had been standing. It was so out of place, I glanced around warily and then ran over, picking up the single sheet of paper.

I flipped it over and inhaled a sharp breath, it had writing on it, the first words at the top were "My comrade", and it was in her handwriting.  
I ran all the way back to the house with the letter firmly in one hand and the other on Alexs stroller. As soon as I burst through the front door, I was attacked my Vika.

"Dimka!" She screamed as she wrapped her arms around me, I hugged her back. I couldnt believe how much bigger she is, shes the same age as Roza, but last time I saw Vika she was only 13 and still very much a child. Now she was all grown up. I smiled at her before remembering why I was in a hurry.  
I pulled Alex from his stroller, he was sleeping soundly so as I went and put him straight into the cot he would be using during our stay.

"Dimitri? Whats going on? You look like you've seen a ghost?" Lissa asked curiously from the doorway of my room, she must have seen the look on my face as I had run up the stairs.

"I saw her. Lissa I saw Rose... she dropped this." I said handing her the note I still held grasped in one hand.

Her eyes widdened as I spoke but she took the note and read it. Her hand going to her mouth as she gasped, "I knew it..."


	13. Chapter 13

**Right... Ive been thinking about how im going to write this next chapter... I have no idea how I should portray it... But hopefully I get it across as well as I would like to...**

**Rose POV**

I've been living... or unliving rather, however you want to think of it, in torture. I never imagined what it would be like to actually be a strigoi, Yes I'd heard my whole life that they were emotionless, only ever feeling rage and anger, only killing for the pleasure of it... so why was I so tortured? Why did it feel like someone was constantly ripping at my heart? I knew the reason behind my pain, but shouldnt I be angry? enraged? bloodthirsty?...evil?

Yes I admit I was angry, terrifyingly angry... but my anger was focused solely on the bastard that turned me... the black haired strigoi... the sight of him sinking his fangs into Dim... his... neck. Drinking the life out of him... _Dimitri..._I cant even think his name without the pain in my heart intensifying. His face, his hair, his smile, his eyes...its ingrained in my mind... I still love him, I know I do...And then theres the pain of thinking about my son... I only had him for a day, 24 hours... And now hes gone from me forever... Ill never get to see him grow up.. no thats a lie, Ill be able to see him, but ill never be able to be in his life, he'll never know me...

All I think about is them...24/7...

But how? Im strigoi we arent 'supposed' to feel things like this... Im so confused... uhhh yet another emotion Im not supposed to have.

I've been roaming for the last 2 months, I started in Montana but somehow ended up in Russia... I dont know why but something drew me here, maybe it was the connection I felt through him to see where he grew up, being here, in someway helped me to feel closer to him...

I remember the first day I got here, Id travelled by foot all the way across country, untill I came to a sign... Baia... I knew it was his hometown straight away. I could feel it... creepy I know...

I stuck to the shadows, avoiding all streetlights, keeping in the darkness of the night as I walked the main street... ok one of the only streets but still it was the only one with shops...

I was contemplating my next meal... uh I didnt like to think of them as meals... I tried not to kill them, just taking enough to half satisfy me and mostly going after people who arent as innocent.

When I noticed a women standing at the end of the street. I would have crossed over the road but the way this old women was standing had me intrigued. She stood facing me with her hands crossed over her chest, her grey hair held tinges of brown and her face was wrinkled. She looked like a grandmother, as I got closer I wondered what an old women like her was doing out so late, and all on her own.

As I got closer I noticed her eyes, they were a deep, almost golden brown, glistening in the street light with an almost creepy knowing look in them, I couldnt look away, something about her eyes seemed so.. so familiar...

"Child, You must be careful, You must know by know that you are not completely lost just as he will too. They will find a way to bring you home... Just dont lose hope, _Roza._" She murmured, barely loud enough for my strigoi hearing to catch.

I froze shocked, not an easy thing to make a strigoi do as I had learned. Thats when I realised what it was about her eyes...they were the exact same as his, same shape, same intense colour... and how did she know my name? How did she know me?

Then it clicked, "Yeva." I stated, Knowing full well that it was his grandmother that was standing infront of me, what kind of crazy grandma stands up to a strigoi like she is? This women is mad.

I thought about what she had said, 'I know im not lost?' What did she mean... I know exactly where I am... and how will they bring me home? I cant be anywhere near them... I could hurt them. I cant risk that, not now, not ever.

I couldnt take the intense way she was still standing there staring at me, with that knowing smirk on her face. I did something not very strigoi like, I bolted. I ran and ran untill I came to a large playground, with trees surrounding one side of it leading off with a walkway through it. I couldnt think straight, I was so confused and frustrated...My emotions ran wild, the pain and helplessness of being this way, the anger that I had been so weak that I was turned so easily.

I ignored the path and wandered straight through the trees, I knew I needed to find somewhere to stay during the daylight hours, it would be easy to compel someone to let me stay with them, but I knew I couldnt be around people at the moment, I wouldnt be able to control myself, everyday I felt less and less in control of my body. I knew one day that I may lose it completely, and it scared me. I didnt want to be a heartless monster, I had fought every single day to keep some sort of control.

I finally found a small cave made of rocks and boulders, it was big enough that the sunlight wouldnt be able to reach inside, so I bunkered down in there and waited for the sun to rise and then fall again...

* * *

I was still sitting there as the sun dipped lower, causing more and more shadows across the ground, I tapped my hand against the rock next to me, my impatience hasnt left me thats for sure.  
I was about to let out an exhasperated groan when I heard someone, it was the first human sound I had heard all day. I listened intently trying to work out what exactly it was. I heard distinct footsteps, long strides signifying that the person was tall... I also heard the rolling of small tyres, so he or she was pushing something on wheels...a trolley? a stroller? Perhaps it was a mother taking her child for a walk.

I thought about it for a moment, tested the shadows to make sure they were enough and then decided I really wanted to know if I had been right. So I crept out of my spot, making sure to avoid any contact with the sun directly and followed the sound. I got to a point where I was still completely hidden but I could see onto the walkway ahead of where the person would appear.

The breeze picked up slightly, cooling my skin further. I inhaled the sweet air and suddenly froze... I knew that smell...that scent of sweat mixed with a hint of aftershave... It haunted my memories. It couldnt be... how did He find me? I started freaking out, I couldnt be this close to him, what if I lost control, what if I hurt him! The monster inside me that kept trying to break free started roaring in my mind, fighting for control, the bloodlust was almost too much, I didnt know what to do.

I heard the footsteps stop, and it was silent for a moment.

"Dimitri..." I whispered, before running a wide circle around where he would be, I heard a small gasp and the the sweetest sound I had heard in so long.

"Roza?!" His deep, rich accented voice called for me through the trees. I stopped in my tracks, my heart was still warring with the monster. Could I see him without trying to kill him? Did I want to see him? Did he want to see me? Would he be afraid of me now...

I heard his footsteps start up again heading back the way he had come, I couldnt help it. I had to see him again.  
I ran slowly and silently in the trees behind him, stopping underneath the large willow tree as he left the confines of the shaded trees and out into the open park and into receding sunlight.

He looked as gorgeous and amazing as he had 2 months ago, not a thing had changed. His hair was still the same shoulder length light brown, tyed at the back of his neck, the duster he wore flapped around slightly as he moved. I held my breath as he stopped all of a sudden, as if feeling my eyes on him he turned slowly to look in my direction. His gorgeous deep brown eyes instantly locked with mine.

I wanted so badly in that moment to reach out and touch him, my arm started to rise of its own will, "Comrade..." I whispered, a smile forming on my lips. It had been so long since I had felt his touch, his warmth. I watched as his eyes trailed up and down my body, not a hint of fear on his face as he whispered,

"Roza... Ive missed you..." I almost lost it then, but not because of the evil monster inside me, but because I suddenly felt like I needed to touch him, I needed to be with him, to hell with my fear of losing control. He took a single step towards me, but just then a small cry sounded from the pushchair.

My eyes flickered instantly to it, the sound of my son... "Alexavier" I choked out in a whisper. I couldnt put my son in danger, I couldnt risk his innocent life with my selfish needs and wants... I took in one more look at the love of my life, taking every single little thing about him in, and then I turned and ran away. For the second time in my life, I ran from the two people I loved the most.

* * *

**DPOV**

"I knew it.." Lissa whispered, her hand muffling the sound as it covered her mouth.

"What do you mean?" I asked her, raising one eyebrow. I knew she had always held hope that Rose wasnt gone from us. I had admired the way she held firmly to her belief even if everyone else believed she was dead to us.

"Dimitri, over the last 2 months I have felt emotions from her through the bond, her confusion, her fear, her hurt and anger... I think being turned heightened all of her emotions... but not in the way that happens to normal strigoi...This letter confirms my suspision... shes not completely strigoi, part of her is still the Rose Hathaway we know." She said, her eyes growing hard and determined as she spoke.

I didnt say anything as she turned to go down the stairs, I followed her and took a seat on the armchair as she handed the note to Adrian, he had a confused look on his face untill he started reading out loud...

**_My Comrade,  
I dont know why Im writing this, I dont even know if I will ever be able to give it to you.  
I know that since I have become this... this thing... I can never see you again, Ill never be able to hold you,  
or kiss you or show you how much you really mean to me. But I need you to know that I will always, ALWAYS  
love you with everything I am... or was...  
I need you to keep your promise to me and take care of Alexavier, help him to become A great guardian just like you.  
Tell Lissa Im sorry I cant protect her anymore, I still feel her through the bond so I can tell she is safe and somewhat happy.  
Make sure Christian takes good care of her, I know he loves her and will cherish her.  
And Adrian, tell him Im sorry I couldnt love him the way he wanted me to, but that he was one of my bestfriends and I dont know what I  
Would have done without him.  
And Eddie... My brother, tell him I love him too, and that he was an amazing friend.  
Im sorry that I will never be able to see any of you again.  
I love you all so much  
Rose._**

I could see the tear fall from his eye as he finished reading the letter. "what... where did this come from? what does it mean?" He asked, looking up with bloodshot eyes.  
I told them about my encounter with Rose at the park and about finding the letter.

"So shes in Russia... are we in danger?" Christian asked from his spot beside Lissa who lifted her head and answered for me,

"No. Dont you see.. this letter proves that Rose isnt entirely gone... Strigoi shouldnt be able to feel love, or saddness, but she does! Rose is still in there somewhere, we just have to find a way to beat the strigoi and bring her back to us." She said as she sat up straight and looked at everyone around the room.

I couldnt help but gain hope as she spoke, she was right, if Roza was truly strigoi then she wouldnt have looked so sad and hurt when I saw her, she was still in there somewhere and we were going to get her back, I was going to get back the other half of my heart.

"But how?" I spoke the question that was on all of our minds.

"We start by going to see Oksana." She said determindly.


	14. Chapter 14

**Dpov**

I remember coming to this exact same house once when I was younger, much younger, with Yeva. We didnt stay long, she just wanted to drop something off to them, which she made me carry in a backpack... I hadnt been very happy when we arrived and she pulled out some stepping stones for their garden. I knew there was something suspect about the bag to begin with.

But here I was once again, standing in the path leading up to the front door. I wonder if they will remember me? More importantly I wonder if they still even live here... Its been years after all.

Lissa and Christian were infront of me, already climbing the stairs to knock on the door. I glanced around at the garden and around behind me to where Adrian stood looking at the house, his expression was hard to read... He looked like he was concentrating, staring at the front door with an intense look in his eyes, almost like he was looking through it. Eddie and the other two guardians just stood around, surveying the area for threats.

As I turned around I saw Lissa raise her hand but before she could bring it down to knock, the door was yanked open and a women stood there staring at Lissa with a confused expression. She didnt look at all surprised... It was like she knew someone was there but she wasnt expecting it to be...us...

"Can I help you?" she asked, raising one eyebrow ever so slightly at Lissa, then looking past her straight to Adrian, the same confused look passing across her face. She seemed shocked when Adrian strode forward and stopped beside Lissa.

"Youre a spirit user." he stated, looking straight into her wide hazel eyes.

She didnt seem at all shocked by his statement. She folded her arms over her chest before answering, "so are you apparently. But That doesnt answer my question, what are you doing here?"

"we came to ask you about changing a strigoi back to their original form." Adrian said nonchalantly, as if it was an everyday topic.

"so I take it youre Vasallisa." the women spoke looking at Lissa, who nodded And introduced the rest of us.

"Dimitri?" the women who we now knew was Oksana asked, when Lissa introduced me. "are you Yevas grandson?"

I just nodded once to confirm her question.

"I havent seen her in a while, how is she? And your mother and sisters, how are they?" she asked me, uncrossing her arms and relaxing as she spoke.

I smiled at her, "they are all fine."

She invited us into her home now that she knew we werent a threat, introducing us to her husband Mark and offering us all a coffee as we took a seat in the living room.

"so why do you want to learn about the legends of changing a strigoi?" she asked as she sat down in the armchair next to mark. I smiled slightly, she gets straight to the point just lile my Roza used to.

Everyone looked to me to answer, "We need to help someone... A friend of ours, Her name is Rose, there was an attack on court about 2 months ago and she was turned after saving my life, I need to get her back.. For our sons sake..."

"your son?" she asked, seemingly surprised for the first time today, "I see... She has a connection to you too, doesnt she?" Oksana turned to Lissa now.

Lissa nodded her head slowly, "shes shadow kissed... Bonded to me."

Oksana nodded her head as if she knew that already, looking at mark for a second before turning back to us.

"All I can do is tell you what I know... Years ago, when I was first... Discovering... That I was a spirit user, I was approached my a man who seemed to know everything about me... About what I could do. He kind of mentored me for a while, showed me how to heal, how to dreamwalk and how to read auras. He would tell me legends about some of the greatest spirit users. One in particular, was about St Vladamirs daughter, she was a spirit user just like her father."

"Vladamir had kids?" Christian interrupted, looking very perplexed.

Oksana nodded, "he had a few, all sons except one. He named her Anna-maree, named after her mother, Anna. When Anna-maree turned 19 she met a man whom she became really close friends with, he was a dhampir and became her guardian. They fell in love but one night were attacked and he was turned strigoi. Since they were so in love, he became obsessed with getting her to be with him forever, when he eventually captured her, she used his own stake, pushed her own love and healing powers into it through spirit and stabbed him in the heart Believing that it would kill him, but that he would die knowing he was loved, but as he crumpled to the ground and she pulled the stake out he came back to life, and was completely dhampir again." Oksana was so intranced by her story that when it was finished she stared out the window, lost in her own thoughts for a few seconds.

This was news to me, there was nothing about Vladimir having a spirit using daughter in any of the history books, so it definitly wasnt taught in schools. But if what she was saying was true then its possible that we can get Roza back, all we have to do is... Is... Kill her... With a spirit infused stake. I couldnt help the sensation of horror and pain that shot through me, what if we tried it and it didnt work? What if we staked her and she really died... I dont think I can handle that...no, I know for a fact I couldnt handle that... But what if its the only way?

"so... All we need is to infuse a stake with healing spirit?" Adrian questioned, raising an eyebrow at Oksana.

"yes... But not just any stake, it has to be hers, or atleast one she used...And as cliche as this sounds...the actual staking part...it can only be done by her true love... The one who shares her heart." Oksana said looking from Adrian to me and back again.

Im pretty sure I visibly paled...I know its kind of cocky but I knew she was talking about me, Roza was as much part of me as I was of her... I had to be the one who had to do it. I guess its ok though...we did promise eachother that if either of us was ever turned then we would want to be staked, to end the torment of living an undead, soulless life.

"ok...so... We need to find her stake, infuse it with as much spirit as we can... And then Dimitri has to stake her...simple." christian said, sarcasm laced every word but we could tell it was mostly to lighten the mood in the room since everyone had fallen silent.

I didnt want to dwell on the fact that I may have to kill the love of my life, the mother of my son, my other half... So I excused myself from the room, telling them that I would meet them at the house. I suddenly had the urge... No the need, to hold my son. To hold the one piece of Roza that I still had close to me.

I basically ran the whole way across town, untill I reached the familiar footpath and up the stairs into the familiar, comfortable little house.

"Dimka? Youre back early, Where is everyone else?" mama asked as she looked up from the kitchen table, she was, as always, preparing food.

"they are still with Oksana. I needed to come home, to see my son..." I trailed off as I looked into the warm soothing eyes of my mother. I dont know what came over me, its like every hurt, every pain, every fear I had been feeling and hidden away came rushing to the surface, she must have noticed the look on my face because she immediately opened her arms to me and soft "oh Dimka." fell from her lips. I couldnt hold myself together anymore. For the first time in 2 months, since losing my Roza, I lost control. Yes I, Dimitri Belikov, the 6'7 badass guardian, fell into my mothers arms crying. Just letting the pain rip through me and the tears cascade down my face, sobbing into her shirt.

She rubbed circles on my back and murmured quietly in Russian untill I was able to collect myself and calm down enough to take control of my emotions again.

I turned my tear stained face to the door when I heard a slight rustling noise,

"Dimka, you will find the strength... You have to." babushka stood in the doorway watching with her deep, wise brown eyes.

"but she could die... We dont know for sure that it will work babushka." I said, standing up straight and wiping my face with my hands.

"its a risk you will have to take if you want to save her, if she truely is strong enough then she will make it... But you wont know for sure unless you try... She doesnt have long Dimka." she was staring me down now, her eyes boring into mine as if she was searching my soul and then in the blink of an eye her face softened and she turned around and walked away.

I stood there blinking after her, her words buzzing around in my head as I contemplated what I was going to have to do.

There was a knock at the door then, I heard it open and Vikas voice speaking in Russian, "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I had to come and see Dimka, I heard that he was here."

I knew that voice, that high shrill voice that has been following me around since I was young...

What was Tasha doing here? Did she follow me all the way to Russia?

"oh, ok, well I dont know if hes home at the moment, he went out with Lissa, Christian and adrian." Vika answered her after a moment, good, maybe tasha would just leave, I really wasnt in the mood to deal with her right now.

"thats alright, ill wait here if thats ok?"

Damn it. Oh well, nothing is on my side today. I decided I would just get this over with so I stood up and walked out into the living room.

"hello Tasha, what are you doing here?" I asked, making it look like I was heading up stairs but pausing slightly at the bottom of them.

"Dimka, I came to apologise for my behaviour... Ive been insensitive about this whole thing, I mean, its only been two months, of course it would still be hard for you..." she started moving towards me as she spoke.

"thats fine Tasha, you didnt have to follow me all the way across the world to tell me that you know. A phone call would have sufficed."

She shook her head, "no. I needed to do it in person Dimka, I needed you to see just how sorry I am, and that I want to help you. I truely do."

I slightly raised an eyebrow at her, I could only guess 'how' she wanted to help me, but of course I couldnt say it to her face, it wasnt the polite thing to do. So instead I just replied "alright, apology accepted. Thankyou Tasha,now if you excuse me I have somethings I need to go and do." I gave her as real a smile as I could before making my way up the stairs and into my bedroom where Alex was laying in his cot, waving his arms around.

"hello my handsome son." I smiled down at him. He was the only one that I felt sane round lately, almost like everything was normal, he was my own little piece of comfort. As I lifted him from the bed, he smiled back and gurgled cutely at me. I smoothed his hair off his forehead and kissed him, before taking him back downstairs with me. It Was almost dinner time, and since we were on a human schedule while we were here the sun was starting to set. I glanced at my watch wondering when the others would be back, and as if on cue Lissa and Adrian both ran in the front door.

Their eyes were wide with fear and they were both panting hard.

"Dimitri... Strigoi... Ambush... Outside!" Adrian beathed out.


	15. Chapter 15

My blood ran cold, strigoi were outside the house? Shit. That means we're all in danger. I flicked my eyes around the room, Lissa and Adrian stood panting in the middle of the room, Vika was paused on the stairs, her eyes wide and Tasha sat on the armchair looking Scared.

"Lissa take Alex, go upstairs find mama and babushka and keep hidden, you too Adrian, Vika and Tasha I need you to guard this room, I dont know how many are out there, but if any manage to get in, kill them." I said, handing my son to Lissa and making my way to the door.

I paused glancing back, "please Lissa, please protect him." I said, letting my fear and worry onto my face before slipping my guardian mask back on.

She nodded once and bolted upstairs with Adrian hot on her heels.

I turned and slunk out the door, scanning the front yard for any signs of a threat, the sun had gone down enough that strigoi could venture out anywhere they wanted. Not a good thing at all in a situation like this. I listened carefully as I slowly made my way down the front steps, the last thing I needed was for one of them to sneak up on me.

I could hear the sounds of struggling, groaning and flesh hitting flesh, it was coming from around the side of the house. Just as I got to the corner of the house and was about to step around I narrowly dodged backwards as Eddie was thrown a few meters, almost knocking me down with him. He landed on his back with a heavy thud, and a loud groan but thankfully he was able to pull himself up straight away. I turned my attention from him back to the corner of the house and was able to flick my stake out and drive it into the chest of a very surprised strigoi as he ran around the corner after Eddie. His eyes drained of life and he sunk to the ground as I tore my stake back out, turning to help Eddie get to his feet.

"thanks Dimitri, he was a bastard of a guy to try and get a hit on." He said brushing the dirt off and stretching one arm behind his back as he spoke.

"how many are we dealing with?" I asked as I peered around the corner, I ended up answering my own question as I saw guardians Lorenza and Torrance locked in battle with two strigoi each and was shocked to see Chrisitan standing not far off with his own two strigoi, one of which was currently on fire whilst the other was looking on in horror, backing slightly away.

My gaze was torn back to guardian lorenza who had been knocked off balance and let out a scream as she hit the ground, one of the strigoi throwing himself at her. I raced foreward and charged the other strigoi that was advancing on them, I know she can handle one, but the second one will definitely be trouble.

The strigois eyes flicked up to me as I approached, a smirk making its way on his lips as he changed course and braced himself for my attack. I barrelled straight into him, using my shoulder to ram his chest. It wasnt enough, even with my size and weight, it only just pushed him slightly backwards and I was able to swing my fist around and connect to his face. He barely even flinched, bringing both of his hands up aiming for my throat I presume. I wasnt about to stand there and let him though, I dodged to the side flicking my leg out as I did, catching his leg and making him lose balance.

It was enough that I was able to get out of his reach. I used the few seconds to glance in my peripheral vision at the scene around me. Christian was in the process of burning his second strigoi to a crisp, guardian Torrance and Eddie were tag-teaming against a buff big guy and guardian Lorenza was still engaged in combat with the one that had knocked her down.

As I dragged my gaze back to the guy I was dealing with, a flash of black and grey streaked across my vision distracting me. The strigoi was able to step foreward and in the same second he wrapped his cold, claw like fingers around my throat.

I automatically started scratching against his hands trying to get some release of the pressure. Using my legs to try and knock him off bakance. He smirked triumphantly at me, obviously presuming it was the end, which it easily could have been... Had it not been for his head going up in flames. His shock was so evident that his grip loosened and I was able to grip my stake and force it into his chest before he could even let out a sound, Watching as his features twisted in pain and then he crumpled to the ground.

I turned and sent a greatful smile to Christian as he stood breathing heavily from the over exertion of energy. Moving my attention to the last two strigoi I noted that they were both now laying in heaps on the ground, having been killed by The guardians.

"well... That made for an...interesting end of...the day..." Christian puffed as he made his way slowly toward the house.

"im going to do a quick check and make sure there are none hiding elsewhere around here, you guys go inside and make sure everyones ok in there." I said to the others as I turned slightly towards the backyard. To be truthful, I was more interested in trying to find out what the black and grey blur was that had distracted me, it had looked like a person...

They nodded and made there was inside as I walked toward the spot I had seen it, making sure that the strigoi bodies were definitely dead as I went. I noted how quiet it was as I got nearer to the line of thin trees that border the property and run along the small fence line, usually you can hear noises from animals foraging around in there, but tonight. Nothing. Not even the crickets were chirping... It was odd...

As I reached the very far end of the yard I was about to give up, I hadnt seen any sign of anything really... untill I heard a single twig snap. I whirled around to the sound, and came face to face with the deepest, most beautiful set of brown eyes, the very same that have haunted my dreams for the last 2 months...I sucked in a breath... And then the cloud moved off its position over the moon, lighting up the area and her face, highlighting the red ring that surrounded them.

She was standing literally an arms length away, her waist length dark brown hair hung down in little wavy ringlets, a halo of silvery light surrounded her making her look like an angel... A deadly beautiful angel, but still my angel. My Roza.

"Dimitri..." she murmured moving her gaze to mine.

Hearing her voice again, it took everything in me not to rush foreward and pull her to me. That would be going against everything I had ever been taught, everything that had been drilled into me since I was a child. Once someone became strigoi it was our duty as dhampir, as guardians, to destroy them, we were taught to believe that once they turned they were no longer the people they used to be, there was no more of that person anywhere within them... They became killing monsters and nothing more.

Without even thinking, My hand moved of its own accord down to my waist, resting on the stake that I had put back in its holster. Her eyes flickered down as she caught the movement, hurt crossed her features.

All of those teachings about people losing themselves as strigoi went out of the window as I stared at her, my brain just would not comprehend that she was dangerous, that with one flick of her wrist she could easily snap my neck and I would never see it coming.

"Im sorry... I shouldnt be here..." she said as she scrutinized my face, watching my reaction I presume. She turned slowly to leave, and without even really comprehending what I was doing I reached out. Gripping her wrist in mine, I felt the unnatural cool feel of her skin, but I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug.

She stiffened for only a millisecond before hugging me back. I felt her body shudder as she breathed in. This was like a bitter sweet dream, she wasnt my Roza, she was a strigoi, a monster... But I couldnt make my heart believe that... she would always be my Rose, no matter how she changed physically.

"Ive missed you so much Roza... You have no idea..." I whispered into her hair, placing a soft kiss there as I spoke. She hugged me tighter and then released me, looking up into my face. She looked hesitant for a moment before she leaned up and placed her lips on mine.

It was like we were transported back in time, like the last 2 months had never happened. She was dhampir, we were together and everything was absolutely perfect. She moaned slightly against my lips and thats when I stiffened,I felt a prick and realised her fangs had brushed my lip. The sensation was so odd that it ripped me from my thoughts and for a split second I forgot that it was her I was kissing.

She sensed my change and abruptly ripped herself from me with strigoi speed and strength. She was immediately two arms lengths from me, looking at me with wide eyes. I didnt understand the look on her face until I ran my tongue over my lip and realised that her fang had cut me, blood was barely tasted on my lip, but it was still there.

"im... dimitri im sorry..." she said quietly as she turned from me. She looked like she was struggling with herself, It was like I could see the fight, the war, that was going on in her mind.

"Roza wait." I said moving foreward going to grab her wrist again, she paused but wouldnt let me touch her. I could see so much torment and pain in her eyes that I couldnt bare it, I wanted nothing more than to save her from it, to help her..."Roza, we know how to save you." I said with as much confidence and certainty as I could.

Her expression changed, turning to one of confusion and shock. "wh...what?" she stuttered, her brows knitting together slightly.

"We've been searching for a way since you were taken... We think we've found a way to turn you back into a dhampir." I pulled her hand into both of mine as I spoke.

She was silent for a moment, looking down at the ground, trying to process my words, when she looked back up the look on her face shocked me.

She was angry. There was a fierce, scarey anger radiating off of her now. She ripped her hand from mine, "Im fine, I dont need help. Not from you. Not from anyone. Im stronger now than I ever was, why would I want to be changed back into... In to a weakling!" she practically spat at me.

I was shocked at the sudden change in her, she was glaring at me with a look so cold that anyone else would have been shaking in their boots. I noticed how the red ring in her eyes was brighter than Id ever seen, it was crimson red almost overpowering the brown of her iris's.

_Before its too late for her_... babushkas words swirled around in my mind. Was this what she meant? That Rozas control was breaking, she was turning into a monster... Into one of them...she was losing the little bit of her humanity that she had left from her bond with Lissa... Thats all that is holding her here I realised.

"Roza, you dont mean that. We NEED you back, I need you... Alexavier needs you..." I said almost desperately. Her expression dropped when she heard her sons name.

"Alexavier...my son... Oh my god, Dimitri... I dont know what to do... I cant keep fighting it, its getting too strong..." she spoke with so much intense fear that I wanted to cradle her to me again, but I could tell she didnt want me any closer. "I... I have to go.." she said hurriedly

"Roz-" I was going to beg her to wait... until her back suddenly shot up in flames. It completely took me by surprise, as well as Rose.

"Dimka!" I heard Tasha scream at me and I saw her standing just off the back porch, her arm raised at Rose. She was doing this, she was going to kill Roza!

"No! Tasha stop!" I yelled at her, pushing Roza behind me and standing in Tashas line of sight.

"Dimka, shes strigoi! She has to die, move I can do it now while shes down." She growled moving closer towards us.

"No Tasha, stop. Leave her alone. We know how to help her!" I yelled walking over and grabbing her hand to stop her. She looked shocked at the fact that I had grabbed her as roughly as I had, but I needed to make her stop, I couldnt let her hurt Roza, not when theres a chance I can get her back.

"shes not the Rose you knew Dimitri. Shes a strigoi! An evil monster." she said looking at me like I was stupid,

I shook my head at her, "no, shes not. She hasnt laid a hand on me since Ive been out here. She wont hurt me. I know how to turn her back into a dhampir Tasha, so you. Will. Not. Touch. Her." I growled the last part and pushed her back lightly.

I turned back around to see Roza watching me with wide, shocked eyes. She quickly composed herself, her eyes searching mine for a second before she smiled a small sad smile and nodded her head once as she whispered "thankyou Comrade... "

and then she disappeared.

**Review please :) **

**Im finding it kind of hard to keep writing this :( I like the story line but sometimes i feel as though im repeating myself too much...**

**Oh well, next chapter will be Roses POV so we can see what was going through her tortured mind during this bit :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**ROSES POV**

"What the hell am I doing..." I mumbled to myself as I sat on the branch of the giant willow, swinging my legs off the edge and staring up at the dimming sky. I was still on my hunt for the bastard who had turned me, he changed me for a reason but he had disappeared after I became... this... I needed my revenge, I needed to watch the undead life drain from his eyes and I needed to do it with my own two hands... only I didnt know where he was or even who he was... I only knew he was in Russia.

I sighed.

Nothing was right, I didnt have a single reason to still be here in Baia though, I should have taken off as soon as I realised Dimitri was back here... only I couldnt. I couldnt seem to run away again... not from him. His eyes, his hair, his smell.. it all haunted my every waking moment...

The monster that was inside me was scratching and clawing, telling me that I needed to make him mine again... to drain him of everything he had in him, to make us one... to have a piece of Dimitri flowing through my own blood.

I closed my eyes, No, no, no, no, no I chanted over and over, trying to calm it, trying to subdue the beast. I knew I had some humanity left in me the first time it reared its ugly head, trying to make me kill an innocent girl... I managed to force myself off of her though, only after I had sunk my fangs in and taken some of her blood. I knew I needed it to survive, though I refused with everything I am, to kill anyone.

Not long after I had left I realised that I was still connected to Lissa, though it was getting fainter everyday, like the thread that tied us together was thinning and any day now it could break. I had a feeling that when it eventually did, that I would break with it and I would lose my soul altogether.

Yeva's words constantly swirled around my chaotic mind, _"be careful, You must know by now that you are not completely lost just as he will too. They will find a way to bring you home... Just dont lose hope, Roza."_ I had no idea what to make of it, they will find a way to bring me home? I didnt understand it, and it frustrated me. I hated not knowing, I hated being this helpless, being this... lost.

Yes, I was definitly lost, I had no where to go, no place I belonged anymore. I knew for a fact that I didnt want to become a monster, I couldnt and I wouldnt let it happen... I would destroy myself before I lost it. I made up my mind then and there, as I watched the first tiwnkling star appear in the sky, I had to find a way to destroy myself so that I cant hurt anyone... especially no one that I love... but not untill ive killed that strigoi.

I sprang down from the branch landing on the balls of my feet. If I was really going to do this then I wanted one last chance to see him. One last chance to kiss him and tell him Im sorry... I wanted with my whole heart and soul to see my Alexavier too... but I knew it was too risky, it was too painful for me to even think about so I shoved my few thoughts and memories of my son to the back of my mind. I knew he would be safe and loved and have a happy, full life with Dimitri. He would be the best father in the entire world.

I had made my way down the road and through the centre of town without even realising that my feet were leading me to the Belikov house. I looked up at the small comfortable looking house, imagining what It would be like to be in there, laughing and smiling and being happy with them, to be a part of their family. The monster part of me stirred again _rip at their throats, taste the crimson blood, it will be sweeter than honey... _it growled in my mind.

I hated it with a passion, but I couldnt stop the thoughts and I was struggling to control the emotions that came with it.

I heard the sounds of fighting, the deep groan of a man, as well as the colliding of fists against flesh. There was also the smell of burning skin, it was absolutely putrid to my strigoi senses. But I followed the noise and the smell anyway, leading me towards the backyard. I slunk into the surrounding trees, and watched the fight from my hidden spot. I recognised Christian, his dark hair was brightened by the bright light of the flames he was using to devour the strigoi that was infront of him.. that explained the smell... And there was Eddie fighting along side Guardian Torrance, I recognised him from court. So Eddie hadnt been captured or turned? That made no sense since the one that changed me said he wanted Eddie too... and Dimitri... and yet they were both still here, still dhampirs...

Dimitri.

My gaze flickered and I saw him, all 6"7 fighting against a strigoi not too far off, I wanted to get closer, to see his face clearly as he fought. I ran with strigoi speed, ducking behind and around trees until I was close enough to see his features. His eyes were a fierce, deep chocolate brown, his signature duster flicked out behind him as he held his stake clenched tightly in his fist. I looked to my right and saw a bush that I could easily hide behind without being noticed so I ran as fast as I could and ducked down. Peeking up just as Dimitris eyes flickered to where I was.

Focus Dimitri! I yelled in my head at him. But it was too late, the strigoi reached out and gripped him around the neck, squeezing so that he couldnt breathe. Dimitris eyes widdened slightly, but he clawed at the hands and used his legs to swing out and try to dislodge the stigois balance.  
I couldnt take it, I couldnt sit here and watch this monster kill him. _Let him die, less work for you then you can just go out and devour his blood... itll be sweeter than all the rest... _shut up. shut up. shut up. I screamed in my mind at the monster, clawing at my forehead hoping it would help.  
I looked back up to where the strigoi still held Dimitri and I was about to charge over when the strigois head suddenly burst into flame.

Christian was standing behind Dimitri with his hand raised, staring at the strigoi with so much hatred in his blue eyes that had it been trained on anyone else they would have flinched back. Dimitri was able to stake the strigoi and the fight was all over, all of the strigoi had been killed and they all slowly turned to head back towards the house.

"well... That made for an...interesting end of...the day..." I almost laughed out loud at Christian, god how I missed his snarky attitude.

"Im going to do a quick check and make sure there are none hiding elsewhere around here, you guys go inside and make sure everyones ok in there." Dimitri spoke, turning away from the house towards the yard. The others just nodded and disappeared inside.

I watched Dimitri as he walked towards the fenceline, checking to make sure the strigoi were really dead. I couldnt help but admire him. His light brown hair was messy, half tyed at this neck with stray locks drifting around his face, the black tshirt he was wearing under his open duster was tight, showing off the muscles in his chest as he walked. I took a deep breath as he reached the far end of the yard, his eyes searching the line of trees.

I glanced once at the house, before stepping out and making my way slowly and quietly over to him from my hiding place behind him. I was still warring with myself wether I could handle doing this again... when I stepped on a small twig making it crack under my weight. He whirled around faster than I had seen him ever go, untill he was face to face with me.

His face was even more perfect than I remember up close, the light from the moon was lighting up his features, so he was surrounded by a silver light. He truely looked like a god. "Dimitri..." I murmured as my eyes locked with his. I watched the emotions flitter across his face, anger, saddness, despair, love... and something else I could quite figure out.  
I saw his movement as his hand fell down and rested against his waist. I knew immediately that he was resting his hand on his stake, he always had one in the holster there.

It hurt so much to know that his body was instinctively telling him to protect himself from me... "Im sorry... I shouldnt be here..." I said quietly, turning to leave. I knew it was a bad idea, I knew he would be afraid of me... he wants to kill me, to free me... and I want him to. But I know there is still something I need to do first... he will get his chance to kill me... just not now...

I stiffened as I felt his warm calloused hand grip my wrist, I expected him to recoil from the cold feel of my skin but instead he yanked me to him and wrapped his arms around me. It only took a second before I hugged him back, breathing in his scent I felt like I was where I belonged, his skin mixed with his aftershave always did wonderful things to me, a shudder rippled through my body.

"Ive missed you so much Roza... You have no idea..." His voice floated around me as he placed a soft kiss on my hair. I hugged him tighter and then released him, looking up into his deep, mesmerising brown eyes. I knew what I wanted to do, but I wasnt sure how he would react to it, would he push me away? would he be disgusted? ...Only one way to find out.

I leaned up and placed my lips on his, I needed to feel close to him again, to feel almost dhampir again. I almost cried with happiness as I felt him return the kiss. His soft warm lips moving in sync with mine, it was like we had never been apart, his hands moved up to my neck pulling me closer. I lost myself in that kiss, imagining that we were still back at court and that everything was perfect. I moaned quietly against his lips and then felt him stiffen and pull back ever so slightly. I didnt understand what had caused it untill I licked my lips, I tasted the blood and instantly ripped myself away from him, moving as far back as I could.

I turned my back on him, I didnt want him to see me like this. I shouldnt have kissed him, I should have controlled myself better. I could feel the monster kicking and screaming at me to sink my fangs into his neck and taste more. "im... dimitri im sorry..." I said, struggling to keep my voice normal and act like nothing was wrong.

"Roza wait." I heard him move towards me, but I pulled my arm out of his reach. I couldnt handle him touching me right now, that familiar charge of electricity that came with his touch would definitly be my undoing. I glanced back and saw a hard determination in his eyes, ..."Roza, we know how to save you."

What? He could save me? What did he mean by that? he'd kill me or he'd change me back to dhampir... I knew the second was not possible, I pushed that thought out of my head immediately. "wh...what?" I stuttered out, I needed to hear his explaination.

"We've been searching for a way since you were taken... We think we've found a way to turn you back into a dhampir." He pulled my hand into his own as he spoke, his eyes boring into mine with so much truth and certainty I didnt know what to do. This couldnt be real... could it? Was there really a way to turn me back into who I was before... Into a dhampir.

_NO! no you dont want that! You have so much power, so much strength and speed! you've never been better! _The monster in me snarled and fought his way to the front of my mind. I felt my control bend under the strength of its anger and ferociousness, I lifted my gaze that had fallen on the ground.  
"Im fine, I dont need help. Not from you. Not from anyone. Im stronger now than I ever was, why would I want to be changed back into... In to a weakling!" I heard my voice snarl at him, the cold hard sound shocked me almost as much as it shocked Dimitri. I couldnt fight it, the rage was overpowering me. In that moment I wanted nothing more than to race foreward and sink my teeth into him, he wanted me to be weak and helpless, to be the damsel in distress so that he could come galavanting along in his duster and save me.

His voice was pained, almost desperate "Roza, you dont mean that. We NEED you back, I need you... Alexavier needs you..."

Hearing my sons name was like a bucket of cold water. I felt a new strength well up inside me and I forced the monster back into the depths of my mind, gaining back my little bit of the slowly fading control.

"Alexavier...my son... Oh my god, Dimitri... I dont know what to do... I cant keep fighting it, its getting too strong..." The intense fear I felt leaked into my voice and I knew he heard it too. "I... I have to go.." I said hurriedly, turning around slowly.

"Roz-" I heard faintly, before all I could feel was intense pain and heat... heat? I suddenly realised I was on fire! It burned at my skin, the flames licking at my back. I didnt know what to do, I didnt know whether to run or to drop on the ground.

"Dimka!" I heard a shrill female voice scream from the direction of the house.

"No! Tasha stop!" Dimitri yelled back as I felt his hand push me behind him and the flames calmed a little bit, the pain wasnt as intense but it was still there, I dropped to one knee trying to pat out the flames on my back.

"Dimka, shes strigoi! She has to die, move I can do it now while shes down." Tasha growled, her voice getting closer.

"No Tasha, stop. Leave her alone. We know how to help her!" I felt Dimitri move away from me and cringed slightly awaiting the flames to burst into life again.

"shes not the Rose you knew Dimitri. Shes a strigoi! An evil monster." Tasha spoke, I could hear a hint of exhasperation mixed with desperation in her voice. she really was a bitch.

"no, shes not. She hasnt laid a hand on me since Ive been out here. She wont hurt me. I know how to turn her back into a dhampir Tasha, so you. Will. Not. Touch. Her." The fierce way he growled the last part at her shocked me, Id never heard him sound so angry at someone before... especially a women...

He turned back to me, a look of complete determination and love written in his eyes. I quickly composed myself and gave him a small smile,

"Thankyou Comrade..." I whispered before I took off again.


	17. Chapter 17

**ROSES POV**

I slunk around the corner of the building and into the back alley. After my run in with Dimitri and Tasha 2 weeks ago, I decided I needed to get active, to go and find this strigoi that turned me. So naturally I went to the largest city around, Novosbirsk. And was using my newly acquired status as 'Rose Hathaway Badass Strigoi strigoi-killer' to get information. I figured if this guy was able to mount an attack on court that he must be a high ranking strigoi.. if strigoi even have ranks? I dont know, I just knew that since I was going around killing other strigoi for information I was getting one step closer to the bastard.

I found myself standing outside a busy nightclub, The Renigade. I had discovered from a nasty, dirty piece of strigoi that it was a very popular destination for them. Because of the darkness and the noise, the pumping music and the flashing lights meant that they could get close to people without them getting a proper look at their faces and realising they werent normal. I made my way inside, using the back door so that I didnt have to go through the bouncer or the line out front.

I made my way straight to the bar, taking a seat in the corner and ordering a shot of Russian Vodka. It burned all the way down my throat and I felt the heat of it as it reached my stomach. I surveyed the busy club, horny teenagers grinding on the dance floor, guys leaning against the bar watching the girls move. God, how I wished I was one of those girls, without a single care, just here to have fun... unfortunately that was not the case, I was here for a reason. I was waiting for him to show up.

I had gotten a tip off last night that a certain strigoi was going to be showing up in this bar, as he supposedly does every couple of days. Im not totally sure it will be the right guy but I have all night to wait and see. I watched as a very obviously drunk teenage boy with spiky brown hair glanced at me, then he did a double take. A wide grin spread across his face and he started making his way over to where I was sitting. Here we go, I thought to myself as I ordered another shot.

"well... hello beautiful. Whats a gorgeous thing like you doing here... alone?" He asked with that stupid smug grin on his face. His eyes raked up and down my body. Taking in the tight, mid thigh length red dress that gathered around my waist and sat against my boobs, pushing them up and accentuating them more than necessary. I knew I looked good, and he obviously thought so too.

"oh honey, You havent got a chance in hell with me. Now get out of my face before I break something you dont want to lose." I said with a fake smile on my face. He didnt take the hint, instead he took the seat next to me and leaned one elbow on the counter, his other hand landed on my thigh and he started sloppily running his hand up and down. I threw back my second shot before grabbing his wrist and twisting it making him yelp in pain,

"I said get lost." I growled at him, glaring menacingly. I swear he may have pissed his pants as he turned and hurried away with a very scared look on his face.

I sighed, turning and sitting down I ordered my third shot When I heard that voice. It was one I remembered for all the wrong reasons. I was about to turn and look at where it came from when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"well, well, well, look who we have here." He purred in my ear as he turned me to face him. His black hair fell slightly over his forehead and his blue eyes glistened in the flashing lights of the club. "this look suits you very well my dear." He smiled at me, taking in my pale skin and red tinged eyes. I collected myself enough to smile back at him, I didnt want him to know that I wasnt really the bloodthirsty evil monster I was supposed to be so I figured I would play along. "I never got to really introduce myself did I?" He asked as he took the seat next to me.

"No, no you didnt. And yet you seem to know me _very_ well." I interrupted him.

He laughed and ordered himself and me a drink. "My name is Riley." he said taking a sip of his drink and watching me with his piercing blue and red eyes.

"Its nice to finally put a name to the face. Ive been searching for you, you know." I said picking up the drink he had ordered for me and taking a slow sip. He arched an eyebrow questioningly at me. I just shrugged my shoulders, "you seemed very interested in me becoming what I am, but then you just up and left."

He chuckled quietly, "oh that. yes im very sorry for leaving you like that, I had... things... I needed to take care of first." it was his turn to shrug, looking away as he spoke and into the crowded dance floor. "anyway... you're here now... care to dance?" He asked raising from the chair and holding one hand out to me. I drank back the last of my drink, wondering if this was really a good idea, but I figured I was better to stay on his good side untill I figured him out more, So I took his hand as he lead me out into the grinding, bumping mess that was the clubs dance floor.

* * *

**DPOV**

"Ah its no use." Lissa yelled throwing her hands up into the air, she looked both exhausted and annoyed.  
I continued bouncing Alex on my knee, watching her with amusement. Shes been trying for the last 2 weeks to try and get into Roses head, since she realised that Rose could still feel her emotions she thought maybe since Roses emotions were heightened, or supposed to be heightened, that she might be able to get in and find out where she went.

"Calm down Liss, maybe... maybe its not even possible. Maybe the bond is too weak now?" Christian spoke from beside her on the couch, placing a hand on the small of her back.  
"But... I need it to... I need to know where she is. I need to know that shes not hurt, or dying from what _Tasha _did to her." She growled Tashas name, though it was more like a kitten growl than anything menacing. After that night I yelled at Tasha, she had taken off. Going back home to court we all presumed, though after what she did I couldnt really care less what she does anymore. Shes no longer a friend to me and I made sure she knew that. "We need to find her, before something bad happens to her and we cant save her..." Lissa trailed off as her eyes starting brimming with tears. Christian pulled her into his arms and held her while she cried.

"we'll find her...Rose is smart, she wont do anything dangerous... she knows we have a way to bring her back. Whatever shes doing it must be important for her not to have come back yet." I spoke quietly, watching my son giggle and smile as I bounced him. He was growing so much every single day and it hurt knowing that his own mother wasnt able to see him. But I held hope that Rose would come back anyday now, where ever she was atleast she knew that we could help her... atleast I hoped we could really help her, I still wasnt 100% sure about this staking thing, but for now it was our only chance.

I placed Alex on his blanket on the floor just as my cellphone rang beside me, I glanced at the caller i.d and had to do a double take. Reaching out I pulled it straight to my ear. "Roza?!"

There was loud noise on the other end of the phone, almost like the phone was right up to a stereo with the volume turned up. I strained to listen for a few seconds untill I heard her voice. "Why do you want him? What good is Belikov?" I heard her voice, it sounded almost snarled, like she was someone else...

A deep male voice answered her... it sounded familiar but I couldnt put my finger on it... "We need his... skills. Hes a very talented fighter, but he would be so much better as one of us... dont you think?" He sounded like he was hitting on her, trying to sound seductive. I growled at the thought of one of those monsters trying to touch my Roza.

"Dimitri... whats going on?" Lissa asked quietly, I just noticed that they had gone quiet and were watching me intently. I put my finger to my lips indicating for them to be quiet, she just nodded but kept her eyes trained on me.

The music over the phone started to get quieter and I could hear rustling like they were walking away from the sound. "So.. how do you plan on getting him? You've already failed once, I watched that fight... your guys were severly out matched." Roza spoke to the male.

His throaty chuckle came over the phone, "That was just a test, I needed to know exactly who was at that house, I was there you know? I stayed even _After_ the fight..." He trailed off and I heard a swish of movement and then a strangled off gasp. "I know about you, Rose, I know something is up with you... a normal strigoi wouldnt have walked away like that... You didnt even hurt that bitch that tried to set you on fire." he growled.

Her strangled reply had me tensing up, the sound was painful to hear as she tried to gasp with each word. "They had guardians... If I had attacked her... they would have... killed me."

"You think Im stupid Rose? I know you still care for him, you still _Love _him..." he snarled the word Love like it was a dirty word, "but what I dont understand is how. How do you look like this, and still feel emotions?" He sounded thoughtful as he spoke.

"I wish I knew." Roza answered in that sarcastic way she used to.

* * *

**RPOV**

I tried to pull his hands from around my throat, this guy was fast and so strong it was insane. I thought I had him fooled until he spoke again, "I know about you, Rose, I know something is up with you... a normal strigoi wouldnt have walked away like that... You didnt even hurt that bitch that tried to set you on fire." he growled at me.

I had to think fast, I wasnt sure if this guy would kill me without a second thought or wether he actually needed me. "They had guardians... If I had attacked her... they would have... killed me." I choked out gasping for breathe as his fingers tightened slightly.

"You think Im stupid Rose? I know you still care for him, you still _Love _him...but what I dont understand is how. How do you look like this, and still feel emotions?" He asked, looking straight into my eyes.

He was getting on my nerves, "I wish I knew" I replied sarcasticly, narrowing my eyes at him. He just laughed and released my throat, his arms coming up in an overly exhagerated shrug. His smirk gracing his face once again.

"Well either way, Belikov and Castile will be ours soon. Very soon." He laughed before turning his back to me and walking back inside the club. I shook my head and raised one hand to gently rub my sore neck. I knew I would need help if I was going to kill this guy, and as much as I didnt want to involve him I knew I would need Dimitris help, I pulled my phone out of my bra where I had hidden it.

"Dimitri?" I asked, hoping like mad that he hadnt hung up thinking it was someone butt-dialing him or something.

"Roza, Whats going on? Who was that?" His accented voice came over the other end. I let out a breathe I didnt know I was holding.

"that was Riley... The strigoi who turned me." I said, I heard his sharp intake of breathe and the low growl that came straight after. If this hadnt been so serious I would have commented on how damn sexy that one noise was.

"Roza you need to come back. Where are you?" He asked, I could hear the concern and the worry in his voice and I could only imagine the look in his eyes.  
"I cant Comrade... I cant risk being around everyone...I might hurt them..." I whispered back, I didnt want to start thinking about all the people I couldnt see and hadnt seen in the last 2months. I thought for a moment, "but...I need your help."

"Anything. Ill do anything for you Roza." He answered without any hesitation at all.

I closed my eyes, "Come to Novosbirsk... Just you. Dont tell the others where youre going because I know that they will force you to let them tag along but I cant risk them... I dont even want to risk you... but I dont know what else to do..."

I heard some shuffling around on his side of the phone "Im leaving right now. Ill call you when I get there and you can direct me to wherever it is your staying" He whispered back.

"okay...and Comrade?"

"Yes Roza?"

"I still do love you." I whispered.

I heard him chuckle on the other end, the sound made my heart skip a beat. "I love you too My Roza. Forever"


	18. Chapter 18

**DPOV**

I was in the car, just passing the Novosbirsk city sign as I whipped out my phone and hit call waiting for Roza to answer. The phone only had to ring once before her sweet soft voice picked up.

"Comrade? Are you here already?" She asked sounding somewhat surprised.

"I just passed the city sign a minute ago."

"Ok, Ive got a room at the Baypark hotel down on the harbour, room 401." She spoke quietly into the phone, I could hear sounds on the other end, like she was outside around people, I didnt bother questioning it. I figured she was out getting some air.

"Alright, I should only be about half an hour away. Ill see you soon Roza." I smiled as I spoke. I couldnt wait to see her again, I didnt care about the danger I just wanted to be near her again, to touch her, to hold her... I missed her beyond words. I glanced over at the duffle bag sitting half open on the passenger seat, the white gleaming stake with its rose and vines design on the hilt was sticking out slightly. That one piece of white weaponary held all the hope of getting my love back to the way she should be. I let out a slow breath trying to calm my nerves and to not think about what I will eventually have to do with it. I couldnt help but feel bad, like I would be betraying her by staking her with it, even if it was hopefully going to save her life... I wonder if this is what people feel when they purposefully take anothers life...

I found the way to the hotel easy enough, pulling up outside. I jumped out of the car and looked up at the large white building, the massive BayPark sign was lit up in bright yellow. I walked into the large elegant looking reception, skipping right past the blonde human women sitting behind the desk, her head shot up when she heard me push open the door and her eyes widened slightly as she looked me up and down. She was about to speak to me but I was in too much of a hurry and was in the elevator with the doors closing before she could get a word out.

Thankfully the sign in the elevator told me which floor room 401 was on so I just hit 10 and waited as I was taken up, painfully slow I might add. As soon as the doors were open enough I shot out and ran down the corridor until I found the door with 401 in gold lettering. I paused outside for a moment, calming myself down and making sure I was in control, I didnt want to do anything that might upset her or anything that she cant handle, I dont know how she is coping with everything, whether she is still completely in control or not...

I knocked softly on the door before turning the handle abd easing it open. It was like time slowed down as I took a step into the room and glanced around, my eyes coming to a stop when I saw her standing in the middle of the living room. She still looked like the most beautiful women on the planet. Wearing a pair of faded black jeans, with a figure hugging red tank top, her deep brown hair hung in locks down her back just the way I had always loved it. I tried to ignore the pale tinge to her skin, though I could tell she was wearing makeup to try and bring some colour back, I could still see the deep shade of brown her eyes always were, and I concentrated on that colour rather than the red ring that surrounded them. Her face was wary as she watched me, I could see a hint of fear in her eyes and I couldnt understand what it was until she spoke.

"Dimitri... " She looked away from me now, towards the large open window looking out over the city. "If youre not comfortable being around me, Ive booked another room you can stay in..." She said quietly, trying to sound unhurt by the fact that I might accept the offer.

I shook my head and without thinking I dropped my bag and moved to her in three easy strides untill I was standing directly in front of her. She tensed slightly but still didnt look up at me, so I placed my index finger under her chin and tilted her face up so she had no other choice.  
"Roza, you have no idea how much I have missed you, seeing your beautiful face, hearing your sweet voice... I never want to be away from you ever again..." I said as she studied my face.

"..but...im..." She started to speak, I knew what she thought, and I knew what she was going to say so I stopped her.

"Im not afraid of you... Im only afraid you'll run from me again... Please dont leave me Roza... Dont ever leave me again." I couldnt help the emotion that leaked into my voice, it was too much for me to think that this amazing beautiful women who held my heart would ever leave me again. I loved her so much it hurt me sometimes, but the thought of losing her hurt me so much more.

Her eyes watered slightly making them glisten and look even more gorgeous than before, She moved her hand up and traced a line down my cheek with the back of her slim fingers. I closed my eyes and practically melted at the touch, it sent a shiver down my spine. Oh the things my Roza could still do to me.

"You're not scared of me?... of what I could do to you?..."

I shook my head, "No, I know you wont hurt me Roza, I trust you."

She closed her eyes causing a tear to fall and trail down her cheek, I brushed it away with my thumb holding her face in both of my hands. "I love you." I spoke as firmly as I could.

"I love you yoo Comrade..." she whispered.

I couldnt take it, to hell with control. I pulled her face up to meet me, brushing my lips across hers lightly, I still didnt want to step over the line in case she couldnt control herself or she didnt feel comfortable. But the joy that shot through me when I felt her lips respond to mine as she kissed me back made my heart beat like crazy. I savored the soft, sweet taste of her lips as her hands ran up my arms and across my shoulders before twining themselves into the hair at the base of my neck.

We stayed that way for I dont even know how long, it could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days... I didnt even care. We slowly made our way backwards, never breaking the kiss untill the back of her knees hit the bed and we both sunk down onto it.

She pulled away after a moment and just looked up at me as though she was studying me. My eyes took in every single detail about her, about what I knew to be my Roza, the soft tan skin even now as it was a paler than normal colour, her wide brown eyes even tinged with red they were still the most mesmerising thing Id ever seen, and the lush wavy dark locks of her hair. She was perfect.

"What?" She asked, a deep blush crept over her pale cheeks making her look even more amazing.

"Its just... Ive missed being able to look at you... I cant wait until I have you back properly"

She looked at me with confusion, her eyes dancing around my face. "What do you mean have me back properly?"

I sat up then, grasping one of her hands in mine so that I wasnt completely losing contact with her. "I told you last time I saw you, we know how to turn you back... at least we think we know." I smiled at her, I could tell she saw the hint of fear in my eyes as she asked her next question.

"How?" Her voice wavered slightly like she wasnt sure she wanted to know.

I stood and walked over to where I had casually dropped my duffle bag, moving back in three easy strides to sit back by her side. I pulled out the gleaming white stake from the bag and held it up in front of her. "This... its been charmed with spirit by both Lissa and Adrian, as well as a little from Oksana too. We found out that its been done before... Anna-Maree, Saint Vladimirs daughter was a spirit weilder and she saved the man that she loved by using a stake filled with spirit and turning him back to a dhampir with it."

Her eyes widdened as I spoke, she stared at the stake and then back at my face, her bottom lip started trembling ever so slightly. "You... you have to stake me with it?" She asked, her voice wavering again but this time it was even more noticeable. I couldnt bring myself to speak so I just nodded in confirmation.

I put the stake on the bedside table and turned back to her, pulling her up from the bed so that she was sitting against me. I wrapped my arms securely around her waist as I whispered into her hair. "Its ok Roza, everything will be fine. We will get through this, I know you're scared but it will only take a second and then you will be back to the way you were."

She stiffened at my words, pushing her hands against my chest so that I had to let her go. She stood up on shakey legs and moved towards the window. "I cant do it Dimitri, I cant be changed back." She said.

I stood up after her walking slowly towards where she stood. "What do you mean? You dont _want _to be turned back?" I asked. Was she seriously going to say she liked being a strigoi? I really hope not, she cant stay this way, its not her, its not my Roza, she cant stay a monster... its the strigoi in her talking, I just know it is.

"No...I mean Yes, I want to be dhampir again... just not yet. I have something I need to do first, and I dont think I can do it as a dhampir... I have to kill him Dimitri, I have to kill Riley." She had turned to look at me as she spoke, I could see the determination in her eyes.

"But what if... what if you cant control the strigoi in you... what if you become one of the monsters that we live to destroy? Ive seen you struggle with it Roza, its so much stronger than you think... its not safe for you to stay this way." I tried to reason with her, to make her see that she was running out of time.

"I have to do this Dimitri, I have to try... didnt you say that Anna-Maree saved her man? He must have been full strigoi, he wasnt shadow kissed like I am so he cant have had any of the control that I have... even if I did lose it... which I wont. Then you can still stake me." She moved back over to me, placing her hand over my heart. "I have to do this... but I need your help to do it Comrade."

I closed my eyes in frustration, taking a deep breath. She wanted to stay this way, possibly lose herself to the monster and become a full, evil bloodsucking, murdering strigoi... I couldnt stand to see her this way, to see her tranform from my compassionate, always putting others first, loving women into one of them... but wouldnt it make it easier to stake her? If she was out of control and your life, or someone elses life depended on it? another part of my brain spoke through my worries, and I knew it was right. It would be easier to stake her if I believed she was bad, if I believed she was evil... I let out the breath I had been holding, opening my eyes to see hers still trained on my face.

"Ok... Ill help you My Roza. We'll kill Riley... and then Ill turn you back"

The smile she gave me was absolutely breath taking, it was like it lit up my entire heart. I smiled back as she moved foreward and bought her lips back to mine in our sweetest kiss yet.

But after a minute or so I pulled back from her, keeping my hands wrapped around her waist. "so... whats the plan?"


	19. Chapter 19

**Rpov**

The cold night wind whipped around my face, flicking strands of hair into my eyes. I shifted from foot to foot silently as I watched the group of teenage girls wander into the night club, laughing and joking drunkenly. I was running through the plan over and over in my head,so distracted that I almost jumped out of my skin when Dimitri put a hand on my shoulder.

Yes, even half strigoi I was just as easily distracted as I was before.

"Lets go Roza." Dimitri whispered, his lips grazing my neck in a soft kiss before he moved ahead of me, out of the alleyway and towards the front door of the club. I took that moment to admire him, he had his hair tyed at his neck, a tight black shirt on, making his well toned arms look even more amazing than normal, and the dark wash jeans he wore made his lower half look damn fine.

I smiled, glad that I was able to admire such an amazing man again. _'I bet he tastes just as_ good'... I shivered again, this time because of the monster struggling in the back of my mind. I could feel it getting stronger.

As soon as he was inside I made my way over slowly towards the door, and the blaring music and flashing lights. The bouncer looked me up and down once, then twice, his eyes lingering, obviously, at my cleavage. I just ignored it, that was pretty much the reaction I was aiming for when I slipped on the tight dark blue strapless dress, a long split up one side that ran all the way up my thigh, stoping just low enough that you couldnt actually see anything.

"Have a lovely evening miss." He smiled at me, giving a very obvious seductive wink. I just smiled in return and slipped my way into the club, heading straight to the same seat at the bar where I had been last time. The plan was that Dimitri would hide out somewhere within sight of me, but so that he couldnt actually be seen, and I would try and lure Riley outside somehow... shouldnt really be too hard... I hope.

I ordered a shot of russian vodka, drinking it down as soon as the bar tender gave it to me. My eyes roamed the club where they landed almost instinctively on Dimitri, who was in one of the far corners behind a group of very drunk, very loud girls. I half smiled at him before looking away and ordering another drink.

* * *

3 hours. Thats how long I sat here waiting. 4 guys have walked up to me since sitting here, and 4 guys have been rudely turned away. I almost smacked the last one for not taking my very obvious hint to piss off. Luckily he spotted an easier target and moved off before I could.

Locking eyes with Dimitri I shook my head, Riley wasnt going to show up. He nodded in return before getting up and heading towards the front entrance. Looks like we wouldnt have Riley tonight. I figured one last russian vodka shot wouldnt hurt, so I ordered it and knocked it back before turning in my seat and making my way towards the entrance as well.

I smiled as I passed the same bouncer and headed off down the darkened street, the wind was still blowing stronger than normal. I could feel the cold tingle run through me, the sure sign that a storm was heading our way. What an ominous sign. I sighed as I wrapped my arms around my chest for a moment before dropping them to my sides, as a strigoi I didnt really get cold... just uncomfortable.

As I came up to the corner of the street I felt something stirr behind me. Instinctively I spun around and kicked at the persons feet, knocking him to the ground and instantly pinning his body with my own. I glared at him, his red ringed eyes glaring back at me with a smirk on his face. "You made this all too easy Hathway." He spoke smugly.

"What the hell are you talking about? Who are you?" I growled narrowing my eyes. He didnt look familiar to me at all... he must be one of Rileys goons! My eyes widened as the realisation hit.

He chuckled darkly, "Riley had us keep an eye on you, we know you're not alone and for that we thankyou, you've made our task even easier now that you've practivally handed us Belikov and Castile."

"What are you talking about, Castile isnt anywhere near here." I practically spat back at him, gripping his arm tighter, my nails beginning to dig into his white skin.

His smug smile turned into an all out grin. "Ah, so Belikov didnt mention that did he? You didnt think he would really come alone did you?"

I could feel myself losing control, I was struggling with myself not to let the monster take hold and tear him to shreds. I felt myself suddenly pushed to the side just as a silver gleam shot past me and pierced the strigois chest, the grin on his face slowly disappeared along with the undead life that was in his eyes.

I turned my head to stare at the person beside me, his hazel eyes widened as he took in my face. I could only guess at the emotions that were running across my own features, the most dominant was obviously anger. Anger at Dimitri for not listening to me, for not even telling me that he had told Eddie, and that Eddie was here.

"Rose... its really you?" He asked, his eyes trailing over my face, they held both disbelief and awe, but surprisingly no fear. I couldnt bring myself to answer, not sure wether I could contain the anger from my voice so I just nodded, standing up off the dead strigoi and looking around untill I spotted a tall frame standing a few metres away.

"What the hell Dimitri! How could you! You said you wouldnt tell anyone, you said you would come alone! I didnt want him involved, they are after him too! I cant have him being hurt in all of this! and who's protecting Alexavier?!" I screamed, my fists balled up and shaking with anger at my sides. Atleast He had the decency to look slightly afraid.

"Roza I had to, theres no way we could take down Riley alone... If hes really as strong as you say he is then we need Eddie here too." He replied calmly with his hands raised, palms foreward as if in surrender. "And Christian is watching Alex, along with the other two guardians assigned to Lissa and Adrian."

I calmed a tiny bit hearing that my son was atleast well protected through all of this, the thought of him being in danger would definitely have thrown me over the edge. "From now on you tell me if youre going to do anything like this, ok?"

"Ok Roza, im-"

"No!" I screamed out, my hand lifting as though I could pull Dimitri towards me with just my willpower.

Both Eddie and I ran forward as Riley appeared behind Dimitri, one of his chalky white arms going around his shoulders, across his chest, and the other yanking one of Dimitris arms behind his back.

"ah ah ah, dont move." Riley growled, looking pointedly at me where I immediately froze on the spot only about 2 steps from them. Eddie was slightly behind me, but not by much.

"Let him go Riley, you dont want to do that." I growled at him.

He smirked, lowering his face closer to Dimitris exposed neck, his cold red eyes never leaving mine. "You have no idea what I want Hathaway, and dont even think youre in the position to threaten me."

Dimitri struggled trying to force Riley off him but he barely budged him an inch. I took the second of distraction to take a subtle step foreward, Eddie mimicked me, staying the same distance from me but that one step closer to Dimitri and Riley.

"I know you want him alive... well undead... so I know you're not going to kill him like that." I spoke, my eyes flickering from Dimitris to Rileys. I was trying to form a plan in my head as I spoke, how was I going to get close enough to Riley that I can kill him, or have Eddie kill him with the stake, without getting Dimitri killed in the process.

"Youre right, Im not going to kill him like this..." He tightened his arm around Dimitris shoulder, locking him in place. "I would much prefer to see you lose control and become what you should be." He grinned wickedly at me, a split second before I realised what he was going to do, he sunk his fangs into Dimtris neck.

Everything happened so fast, I watched Dimitris eyes widen in fear, then they closed and a small smile formed on his lips just as Eddie sprang forward. But before he had even got two steps the monster in my mind sprang to life, smelling the sweet, intoxicating blood that dripped slowly down Dimitris neck. I couldnt control the sudden force of the bloodlust that swelled in my mind, I subconciously reached at and shoved Eddie forcefully against the fence, his head smacking against the brick. I didnt even look to see if he was knocked out or not before racing forward and yanking Riley away, using more strength than I even knew I had. He went flying backwards and barely managed to stop himself from falling onto his back.

He smirked, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand as he watched me turn to Dimitri who stood with that same 'strigoi endorphin high smile' on his face. His deep, dark brown eyes watching me with a wary, but not all there look. My eyes flicked towards the two puncture marks on his neck, the sweet, tantalizing blood still trickling down his tan skin. The smell mixed with his normal aftershave made it impossible for me to resist. My tongue flicked out and brushed along my own lips, as I took another step closer to him.

My eyes stayed locked on the blood as I got closer to him, the scent swirling around me, it was nothing like anything I had encountered before, usually blood was just that, blood. There was nothing tantalizing about it, nothing that screamed at me to take it... but this... this was something else entirely. It was like my mind was screaming at me to have it, to take all of it.

I couldnt fight it, my arm reached out as my hand wove its way around the otherside of his neck and locked into his hair at the back, bringing him closer to me. I inhaled one more breath as I leaned foreward, he let out a soft moan as my fangs grazed very lightly over his skin. My tongue flicked out and trailed up the blood that had spilled down his neck.

The taste was like nothing on earth, nothing I had ever experienced in my life.  
I felt Dimitri tense ever so slightly, letting out a murmured "Roza..." just as my fangs sunk into his skin.

* * *

**I know, I know, What a mean way to end this chapter ;)  
Annnnd to top that off, Im not sure when Ill get the chance to update because of christmas :D  
But If I get enough reviews for this one It might give me the energy to stay up late and work on it ;)**


	20. Chapter 20

**So... the response from you guys from my last chapter was incredible :D lol I didnt like being mean so I figured, why not finish the whole story before christmas? that way I can work on my other story "Forever and always" after christmas. :) So heres the next chapter...**

_The taste was like nothing on earth, nothing I had ever experienced in my life._  
_I felt Dimitri tense ever so slightly, letting out a murmured "Roza..." just as my fangs sunk into his skin._

* * *

The blood flowed down my suddenly parched, dry throat. It was smoother and more amazing than any others I had tasted in this life. I couldnt get enough of it, I lost track of time and my surroundings, even who I was feeding from. It could have been seconds, minutes or even hours, but the only thing I could think of was the taste, the smell, even the feel of it. I could feel myself slowly draining the body of my victim, his firm toned muscles becoming weak and trembling slightly as I held him up. I could hear his soft whimpering, and the moans of ecstacy as his conciousness faded slowly away with the blood loss and my strigoi endorphins.

Something was bugging me in the back of my mind, something was pulling on my enjoyment, a voice getting stronger telling me to stop, that this person was important to me, that I shouldnt kill him. I fought against it, surely something that tasted this good, that felt this right was meant to be enjoyed right up until the last drop.

His moans grew fainter, my hearing picking up the mumbled words..."Roza"..."please"... and then "Alexavier"

That one last word made the voice in my head push with everything in it, forcing my mouth away from his neck to look at his face.

Dimitri. My Comrade. Oh god what have I done.

I clutched him to me, his eyes closed and his breathing was laboured. I could feel his heart beating steadily in his chest. Thank goodness I hadnt drained him completely... I could have... I almost killed him.

My tongue ran across my lips, the taste of his blood still lingering. I lay him down on the ground, crouching beside him for a moment and brushing my fingers along his cheek. "Im so sorry..." I whispered.  
Im a monster. I let it beat me, I let it take control and it almost killed him.

A sound behind me forced me to tear my eyes from him, I looked up and into the smirking glare of Riley as he stood a few metres away watching me. His red ringed blue eyes gleamed in the street lights.  
"What did you make me do." I growled, slowly standing to my feet and turning my entire focus on him. He made me do this, he made me a monster, he forced me into this... I almost killed the love of my life because of him!

"Me? I did nothing. That..." He pointed to Dimitri on the ground, "was all you. You did that. You're as much of a monster as I am. Revel in the feel of it Rose, Feel the power that his blood gave you. The joy you got from feeling his life slowly flowing into you..."

"Shut up...just. Shut. Up!" I screamed, I couldnt take his voice it was like nails on a chalk board to me. I balled my hands into tight white fists, this creep had done so much to me, caused so much pain. Ive hurt innocent people, I havent seen my son since the day he was born because of him, I havent seen Lissa, or Adrian, or Chrsitian, or Mia or anyone else I care about for that matter all because of him. He had to pay. I would make him pay.

"Rose?" Eddies hesitant voice sounded from behind me, I glanced back to see him move slowly forward, his hands raised and he was standing in a subtle defence stance... he thought I was going to attack him... and he had every right to be afraid. I wanted to reasurre him so I half smiled at him, "can you check on Dimitri for me, Ed?" I asked, trying to sound as un-strigoi like as possible. He relaxed slightly and returned the smile before his eyes flicked to Riley and he tensed back up but moved over to Dimitris unconcious form.

I turned my focus back on Riley, he had an amused grin on his face, shaking his head slowly, "Rose, didnt your mother ever teach you that you shouldnt waste a good _Meal_" He laughed loudly.

That was it, I couldnt take his smart ass comments or the very thought of him trying to get to Dimitri, or Eddie.

I launched myself at him, using all the speed and power I could muster as I barreled straight into him. He wasnt fast enough to dodge me this time so he had to settle for raising his arms to try and shield the brunt of the impact. I used all of the training that Dimiti had taught me back at the academy, Riley wasnt as good, though he managed to get a few good hard hits in. I used a trick that Dimitri had taught me before he left. While Riley was focusing on the punch after punch that I was throwing at his chest, I flicked my leg out making him lose his balance and I gripped his shoulder and threw him as hard as I possibly could against the brick wall, his head cracking back against the hard solid concrete.

He glared at me, but didnt move from his spot leaning against the wall. I slowly stalked towards him, I wanted him to suffer, to feel excruciating pain before I rid the world of him.  
As soon as I stood an arms length away from him I paused, staring as menacingly as I could into his eyes. "You are a monster. You dont deserve anything but a cruel, painful, slow death."

He laughed once, no humour at all in the sound. "And what, you think you have the right to kill me, trying to make yourself feel less guilty for the people you have hurt, you think that you deserve to avenge everyone that Ive ever killed. Trying to act like an avenging angel?... well Rose, you're just as bad as I am. You know you enjoy this feeling, the feeling of power, of more speed and strength than you ever felt as a dhampir. You're free this way."

"Thats where you're wrong, taking innocent peoples lives is not freedom, living in the darkness is not freedom. I dont want the speed, or the strength if it means I cant be with my family, with my friends. I hate you for what you've done to me. You deserve to rot in hell." I growled.

The sound of metal on concrete distracted me just as something hit my foot. I looked down to see a gleaming white stake. It had writing around the hilt, _**"Love and loyalty runs deeper than blood" **_I recognised Eddies stake immediately. My gaze flicking up to where he still crouched beside Dimitri, with one hand on his chest and the other balled into a fist at his side, he was watching me with an intense hard look in his usually soft hazel eyes.  
I nodded my head once, I turned back to Riley who was still watching me, that crack to the head must have really affected him if he still hadnt regained any balance to be able to pick himself up off the wall.

I reached down, tensing myself for the burn that was going to hit me the second I touched the solid silver metal. I was mostly strigoi after all, but I wanted to kill him as a guardian would, with a guardian weapon because strigoi or not, I was still a guardian, I still wanted to protect those around me no matter what the cost.

I hissed under my breath in pain as the silver came into contact with my skin, I gripped it in my hand, clenching my fist tightly around it as my skin sizzled painfully.  
Rileys eyes widened as he watched me lift it up, and read over the writing again, this time I spoke it outloud. Oh the irony, it fit perfectly with this moment, My love and loyalty to my friends and my family, and my duty as a guardian runs far deeper than any desire for blood. I pulled my arm back, the stake causing immense pain to shoot through my arm, but I didnt care, I ignored it as I drove the stake down with as much force as I could muster, digging it all the way into his chest.

He screeched in pain, his fingers ran up to claw at my hand, trying to push it away so he could pull it out. I stared him in the eyes trying to convey all the hatred and anger I held towards him as I dug it deeper, pushing it up just like Dimitri had taught me untill I felt it hit its mark. With one last push I rammed it into his cold heart, watching as the evil undead life drained from his eyes as he stared into mine and as I let go he slumped down against the wall untill he was laying on the ground.

Finally... he was dead. Really dead. I had taken my revenge and rid the world of one more strigoi...

It wasnt untill that moment I realised how much affect the silver had on me, the pain that had been shooting through my arm was now all through out my body, I felt weak and sore. My eyes started to cloud over and as I turned away from Rileys body, I lost my balance, the world spinning around me. The last thing I saw was Eddies worried eyes watching me and Dimitri still laying unconcious on the ground...

* * *

**Whoop there it is! :) **

**Ok so... next chapter will be the long awaited change :) Whose point of view do you want first... Rozas or Dimitris?  
Review and let me know!**


	21. Chapter 21

"Dimitri... Dimitri can you hear me?...Come on DImitri, I need you to wake up... come on man."

I could hear the voice getting louder and clearer as my conciousness slowly came back... I opened my eyes groggily to see Eddies frantic face over mine, His hand was on my chest as he leaned over me. As soon as he saw my eyes open he moved back slightly. I sat up slowly, shaking my head lightly, the dizziness still swirling in my head. I sat with my head between my knees for a moment, "What happened?" I asked, I honestly couldnt remember past Riley with his arm around my neck...

"Riley grabbed you, he bit you...then Rose... she drank from you... I swear I thought you were dead, I thought she had gone full strigoi and killed you...but then she put you on the ground and told me to check on you...then she beat the crap out of that Riley guy and staked him..." He spoke in a rush, still hovering over me.

"Rose?...Where is she!?" I asked, my head whipping up straight away, please god let nothing have happened to her! Little clips of what happened were flickering in my mind... Rose talking to Riley... Him sinking his fangs in... Being shoved around and then landing in her arms... Then... Then she bit me... Oh Roza, it must have been a struggle for her to stop, I cant believe she managed it... I owe her my life...

"Shes over there... I checked on her the minute she fell, shes still breathing, I think touching the stake may have just knocked her out." He said, motioning with his head over to where I could see two bodies on the ground.  
I pulled myself up off the ground, stumbling slightly. She must have taken a fair bit of blood frm me for me to be this out of it.

I dropped down to my knees beside her head, moving the pieces of her silky dark hair from her face and brushing my fingers along her cold pale cheek. Eddie was right, she was still alive, still breathing but she looked so tired, so exhausted. I gently pulled one of her eyelids open to see the red ring around her pupil. I let go and moved back slightly, I looked at Eddie who stood a few feet behind me.

"Eddie... I think... I think its now or never..." I spoke quielty. I honestly couldnt believe I was going to do it now, but I had to...for her... And it would be easier to do if she was already unconcious first anyway...

Eddie nodded as he walked over purposefully and kneeled beside me, gently gripping Rozas shoulder and rolling her so that she was on her back and her chest was exposed. I studied her face for a moment, taking in every detail of her... just in case...  
I could feel my emotions getting out of control, the pain of thinking about what I had to do was almost too much, I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips, savouring the taste of her. "I love you Roza... Im so sorry..." I whispered gently against her cold, still lips.

"It will work. I know it will Dimitri." Eddie spoke so surely, so confidently beside me, one of his hands was gripping Rozas as though it was a lifeline.

"I know. It just has to..." I replied as I shifted into a position where I could get one swift direct blow.

Taking in a deep breath and lining the spirit stake up to her heart... inhale... exhale...inhale...exhale... I closed my eyes tight as I focused on why I was doing this, about getting my sweet, strong, confident dhampir Roza back...inhale...exhale... She would want me to do this...inhale... I bought my arm and the stake down with as much force as I could muster as I exhaled, I felt it break the skin of her chest, slide through her ribs and hit straight into her heart.

It felt like I was being thrown across a room, like an explosion of air throwing me back off her and onto the ground. Wind was whipping at my face, but there was no sound whatso ever. I opened my eyes slowly to see a blinding white light slowly fade INTO Rozas body, it was like she was sucking the light into herself...As it disappeared completely I lifted myself up on shakey legs and moved slowly back to her still unmoving form. Eddie did the same, he had been thrown a few feet the other way, his eyes were wide and wary, probably the same as mine.

I pulled her hand into my own, willing her to open her eyes and look at me... but there was nothing... I could see her chest still rising and falling... With the only difference being that the stake was now laying beside her...

My eyes widened as I realised the spot where the stake had gone into her was fully healed over, like it had never happened... and her skin was slowly changing colour! It was going from a deathly cold white to a warm tan chocolate brown... she was coming back! she was really turning back into a dhampir! I couldnt help the grin that appeared on my face, I was ecstatic! I held my breathe as I watched her, waiting for her eyes to open... only they still didnt... nothing else happened.

I moved over to her face, cupping her cheeks in my hands, "Come on Roza... open your eyes for me... come on..." I demanded her, willing her to do what I said.

"Dimitri... is she... is she back?" Eddie asked carefully beside me, his eyes trailing her body obviously seeing the change in her skin colour as I had.

"I... I think so..." I said, moving one of my hands to her eyes I slowly, gently lifted one lid. I gasped as I saw her gorgeous brown eyes... no red in sight, before dropping my hands and rubbing my face.  
She was really back to her old self, she was dhampir again! "Yes... shes dhampir again" I said, the joy and happiness I felt was obvious in my voice. My Roza was back.

* * *

I sat beside the bed, just watching her sleep. She looked like something out of a fairytale... My own personal sleeping beauty, only she wouldnt wake up when I kiss her. I rubbed small circles on her hand hoping that some sort of movement would stir her into waking up.

Ive been sitting here in mamas house, in my old bedroom for the last two days. Eddie and I bought her straight here once we were certain that she had no more physical traces of her strigoi self. It was just a matter of waiting now...

"She hasnt woken up yet...?" Mama asked quietly, her head poking around the door.  
I sighed before answering just as quietly, not moving my eyes from Roses face "No... not even a twitch..."  
"Dont worry... atleast shes still breathing... " Mama murmured before closing the door and moving down the hallway.

Thats when it finally happened, my heart skipped a beat as I saw one of her eyes flutter then squeeze shut again and a soft groan escaped her lips. She shifted her body slightly, she must be uncomfortable...

I moved closer to her, so my face was resting next to hers, "Roza?" I spoke, letting my worry for her leak into my voice.

She responded by lifting her arm and dropping it heavily over her eyes. I couldnt help the chuckle that escaped my lips at how childishly cute the gesture was, before getting up and switching the lights off for her.

I moved back to her side quickly, not wanting to be any sort of distance away from her. She lifted the arm off her face before opening her eyes slowly. I moved closer, so that I was almost standing over her, I had to see the proof for myself one more time. I had to see the swirling brown depths of her eyes as she looked at me as if for the first time again.

The arm that had been covering her eyes moved so that her soft warm hand was cupping my cheek, I leaned into the feeling of her skin sending a tingle straight through me, that was something I realised that hadnt been there while she was a strigoi. I sighed quietly, looking into her gorgeous deep brown eyes, I would never take that mesmerising colour for granted ever again.

"You're back... my Roza...thank god it worked." I breathed as I mentally ingrained all of her features into my mind, watching in awe as a deep red blush crept up, colouring her cheeks making her look absolutely stunning.

"Stop looking at me like that Comrade." she smiled at me, her eyes averting so that she was looking towards the wall. I couldnt help it, I ran a finger along the heated skin of her cheek, under her chin and tilted her face so that she had no choice but to look at me.

"You cant tell can you?"

"Tell what? Ive been knocked out for... how long?" she asked, trying and failing to lift one eyebrow, I loved how she did that.

"Two whole days Roza. We bought you here after... that night... and you've been sleeping for two whole long days." I said quietly, I couldnt keep the smile off my face though, "I thought after... after I changed you... that you would wake up straight away, but no, you had to sleep and worry the hell out of me." I chuckled, watching her face as I spoke.

She looked confused, like she hadnt actually understood a single word I had said. Then, slowly And hesitantly, she lifted a hand infront of her face, turning it over and studying it. Her eyes growing wide with shock as she took in the changes. I hadnt expected her to shoot up and race from the bed, but thats exactly what she did. She was in the bathroom before I even had a chance to move.

I smiled at her impulsive lack of self control, sighing lightly, my Roza. I decided to give her a minute to get a hold of herself...then two minutes... Three minutes... Five minutes... After ten minutes I gave up, wondering if she had gotten lost, or fainted from shock... I walked silently to the bathroom, pausing for a second at the door to see her standing so still she could have been a statue. Her eyes were transfixed on her reflection.

I moved behind her and it wasnt untill I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder that she came back to life. Her eyes flicking in my direction then back to the mirror.

"So beautiful..." I couldnt help but whisper my thoughts as I looked at her standing here in my arms. I expected her to smile, or blush... But instead her face dropped, her brows furrowed slightly and she frowned, I could tell she was deep in thought about something. She suddenly shrugged out of my hold, walking straight out the bathroom door and over to the dressing table. She tried to make herself look busy, I could tell just by watching her that she was blaming herself for what happend.

"Roza... I know what you're thinking And stop. I dont care about what happened, Im still here, Im still alive, because of you... because you had the will to stop." I strode purposefully over to her, stopping right beside her and waiting untill she finally looked at me, her eyes held guilt and saddness.

"I could have killed you... I wanted to keep going... Dimitri I almost didnt stop. Im a monster... I dont deserve-"

I couldnt stand her blaming herself, thinking about what could have happened, I gripped her upper arms tightly as I practically yanked her into me, crushing my lips to hers. Both of us getting lost in the sweet, passionate kiss.

"Roza. Just shut up." I laughed pulling away only to lean my forehead against Hers "You didnt kill me, Im still here, still as in love with you as ever. Please dont beat yourself up about whats in the past. You're back now and nothing, especially not your stubborness, is going to keep me away from you." I said as I looked straight into her amazing brown eyes before bringing her lips back to mine so I could convey just how much I truly did love her.


	22. Chapter 22

"She hasnt woken up yet...?"  
"No... not even a twitch..."  
"Dont worry... atleast shes still breathing... "

I couldnt understand the whispered murmurings I could hear, they sounded muffled like they were outside of the room... where ever the room was... where the hell am I?

I inched one eye open slowly, immediately regretting the decision as the bright white lights blinded me. I groaned in pain as I tried to shift positions, I felt like I had been here for months. What the hell happened to me?

"Roza?" A very worried Russian accented voice spoke right beside my ear, his warm breath fanning across my cheek. I wanted to see him, I wanted to make sure he was really here and that I wasnt dreaming, but I really, really couldnt handle the pain of those lights.

I lifted one arm and slung it over my eyes, blocking out the light that still got in through my closed eyelids.

A warm chuckle sounded beside me, before the sound of a chair scraping backwards and the click of a switch. His warm calloused hand gripped onto my own, lifting my arm from my face. I clenched my eyes tighter before opening them again slowly, the lights had been turned off so that the only light in the room was through the closed curtains showing that it must have been daylight outside.

I opened my eyes and as my sight started to clear I found myself looking up into the most gorgeous brown eyes I have ever seen, I would never get tired of them. I lifted my hand to cup his cheek, he leaned into my touch as he closed his eyes for a second, before he looked back into mine. His eyes widened with wonder as he looked into mine, a wide breathtaking smile lit up his handsome face.

"You're back... my Roza...thank god it worked." He breathed out all at once, I couldnt understand it. He was looking at me with such intense love and wonder I felt a blush creep up my cheeks.

"Stop looking at me like that Comrade." I chuckled, averting my eyes from his. He brushed his fingers gently down the side of my cheek, under my chin untill he tilted my head back so I had no choice but to look at him.

"You cant tell can you?" He asked with an amused look on his face.

"Tell what? Ive been knocked out for... how long?" I asked, trying and failing to lift one eyebrow.

"Two whole days Roza. We bought you here after... that night... and you've been sleeping for two whole long days." He said, the smile never leaving his face. "I thought after... after I changed you... that you would wake up straight away, but no, you had to sleep and worry the hell out of me." He chuckled, watching my face as he spoke.

It took me a whole minute to understand what he had said, Id killed Riley, been knocked out by the silver in the stake for two days... and during that time he had changed me?  
I lifted my hand to my face, turning it palm side up and then twisting it around. It was no longer a pale white ghostly colour... I had warm tan, olive skin! I bolted up out of my sitting position, almost knocking Dimitris surprised face as I went, dashing over to the bathroom and racing infront of the mirror. I froze infront of it, one hand lifted to my face as I looked at myself.

My tan complexion, dark wavy black hair... No more fangs...but the thing that had me mesmerised were my eyes... my dark brown eyes... no red ring at all... I must have stood there staring for a long time because Dimitri appeared suddenly behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his chin on my shoulder as he looked at me in the mirror.

"So beautiful..." He whispered placing a kiss on the inside of my neck. I stiffened at the touch, _You dont deserve him after what you did_, a voice in the back of my mind whispered. It was right. I almost killed him, I promised him I wouldnt hurt him... but I almost drained him of his blood...

I couldnt even look at him as I shrugged out of his embrace and walked out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. I busied myself at the drawers, trying to find something to change into, I was still wearing the slinky blue dress from two days ago and man did it stink.  
I could feel Dimitris gaze burning into my back but I couldnt bring myself to look at him, he was too perfect, too amazing, I didnt deserve him.

"Roza... I know what you're thinking And stop. I dont care about what happened, Im still here, Im still alive, because of you... because you had the will to stop." He said striding his way toward where I stood, I finally looked at him, I could see the determination, and the love he held in his gaze.

"I could have killed you... I wanted to keep going... Dimitri I almost didnt stop. Im a monster... I dont deserve-" He silenced my rant by crushing his lips to mine, gripping my upper arms with his hands and pulling me closer to him.

"Roza. Just shut up." He laughed pulling away only to lean his forehead against mine. "You didnt kill me, Im still here, still as in love with you as ever. Please dont beat yourself up about whats in the past. You're back now and nothing, especially not your stubborness, is going to keep me away from you." He said.

I couldnt help the smile that graced my face, I couldnt believe he was ok with it, that he was going to forgive and forget... I knew I wouldnt be able to, it would take a long time for me to forgive myself for almost killing him, but in this moment, as long as he was willing to forgive me then I was ok. I pulled his face back to mine and kissed him with all the love I could.

A few minutes later we were disturbed by a loud cry. I pulled away from him slightly, only just realising fully that I had no clue where I was. He picked up on it straight away.

"Youre in mamas house, Eddie and I bought you here after I changed you back and we believed you were safe..." He trailed off as the cry sounded again, this time more desperate and louder than before. I looked at Dimitri questioningly... I didnt want to get my hopes up...

"Yes Roza... thats Alexavier...Come on." He smiled broadly as he took my hand in his and pulled me out the door and to the room across the hall. He opened the door and walked in, I had to stop to collect myself... 2 months, its been 2 long months since Ive seen my son... what does he look like now? how much has he grown? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, opening them as I exhaled and walked slowly into the room and over to the crib where Dimitri stood. He smiled warmly down at the boy in the crib, I followed his gaze and my breathing hitched in my throat.

He was just as perfect as he had been when he was born, only he was a bit chubbier, his light brown tuft of hair was all over his head now, and his big deep brown eyes shone in the light. He wiggled on the spot, his eyes resting on my face as a wide grin appeared on his face and he raised both arms to me as he opened and closed his chubby little fists.

"My baby..." I whispered as I stretched my arms down and picked up the little bundle of miracle. He gurgled happily as I clutched him to my chest inhaling his sweet baby scent, the tears trailed down my cheeks as I started sobbing quietly, I had missed him so much, almost believing at one point that I would never get to see him again let alone hold him like this. But it was true, I was back, I was dhampir and I was never ever going to be taken from my son or my Comrade ever again.

I felt Dimitris arms circle around my waist from behind, one of his hands covering my own that held onto Alexavier and the other resting on my hip. "I love you Roza, so much, Im never going to lose you again. I wont let anything happen to you or little Xavier, I promise." He whispered.

And in this sweet, perfect moment I believed him.


	23. Chapter 23

After cuddling my son for who knows how long, giving him so many kisses he started to try and wiggle out of my hold I figured I should probably make myself known to the rest of the occupants of the house.

I could feel Lissas worry and anxiety through the bond, she still thought I was sleeping... Hmmmm I could have some real fun with this, I chuckled to myself, making Dimitri look at me funny, his eyebrow Rose questioningly.

"nobody else knows im awake do they?" I asked him, stepping closer to where he had sat down in the rocking chair a few minutes earlier. He still kept that darn eyebrow raised as he shook his head slowly, I could tell her was trying to work out what I was thinking.

I knew what I would do. The plan already forming in my head. I passed Xavier to Dimitri, kissing them both on the cheek and smiling with a wide cheeky grin.

I quickly ran through my plan with Dimitri, who by the end of it was grinning the same grin as me.

"You have no idea how glad I am that youre back Roza." he chuckled as he watched me slowly and carefully make my way out of the open window. I stood carefully on the ledge, glancing towards my left, nothing but brick wall. Then to my right, where there was a sturdy looking pipe dropping all the way down to the ground. "Be careful Milaya." Dimitri warned as he watched me shimmy over to the pole and wrap my arms around it tightly.

"always Comrade." I Winked at him as I made my way down the pole and jumped onto the ground, landing almost on all fours on the soft grass below.

I heard him close the window quietly as I checked that my way to the front door was clear, thankfully everyone seemed to be in the living room so I stealthily made my way underneath the big main window, pausing for a moment as I heard Adrian talking...

"Anything new Belikov?" he asked, god he sounded tired...

I assume Dimitri must have shaken his head since the next thing I heard was a loud dramatic sigh from Adrian. I had to stifle a laugh as I thought of their reactions when they finally see me.

"well, since youre busy with the little man, Im going to go sit with her..." Adrian said as I heard shuffling around inside. Shit, its now or never.

I practically sprinted to the front door, banging my fists on it a little louder than I had intended. I held my breath as I heard loud steps moving towards the door.

"Who is it?" a deep russian voice asked on the other side.

I cleared my throat and then in my deepest voice I replied "Special delivery for a Miss Dragomir."

"Lissa! Its for you apparently." Dimitri called, seconds before I heard the soft patter of Lissa walking to the door.

I plastered on the biggest, cheesiest smile I could manage as I heard the door unlock and slowly shift open.

"who is...ROSE!" her eyes flew open and she literally screamed as she threw her entire body at me. Luckily I was expecting that sort of reaction from her so I managed to catch her, only stumbling back a couple of steps. "Rose oh my god, I cant believe it, when did you wake up!?... Wait wait... What the hell are you doing out here? How did you get outside? Why arent you upstairs in bed!?"

I laughed as she stumbled over her questions, hearing the sounds of more heavy footsteps running towards us from inside I braced myself just in time as both Adrian and Chrsitian appeared at the door, both of them with the exact same look on their faces. Wide eyes and opened mouths, neither of them spoke.

Christian was the first to collect himself as he slowly closed his mouth and his trademark smirk appeared on his lips, Adrian however, threw himself into the hug that Lissa and I were still embraced in.

"My god Little Dhampir, never ever ever do that to me again! I swear I thought I was never going to see your sexy face again!" he breathed in my ear.

"Come on Ivashkov, you know nothing can keep me away." I laughed back.

When Lissa and Adrian finally realeased me and pulled back I saw that they both had tear streaks on their faces, Adrian trying to hide that fact more so than Lissa. I heard someone clear their throat from the doorway just as I was about to crack a joke at both of them.

I looked up to see Eddie leaning against the door, watching me with warm, slightly teary hazel eyes. A smile lit up his face as I stepped towards him, he opened his arms and I walked into his hug, embracing him tightly, I would always be thankful to Eddie for everything hes done for me, everything he has helped me through.

"im so gald to have you back Rose," he whispered into my hair.

"Im glad to be back Ed, I missed you..." I pulled back from him slightly, "I missed all of you, so much." I said getting teary eyed, yes I know, very un-Rose like.

"aww is Rosie getting mushy on us?" Christian commented sarcastically from Lissas side.

I couldnt respond to him except to laugh at his cheesy grin.

After a few more minutes, and a few more hugs I was pulled inside and sat down in the middle of the couch, Dimitri taking one side, Lissa on the other. Chrsitian sat across from us with Adrian, and Eddie sat on the single arm chair to the side.

I sat with Alexavier sitting on my lap, I couldnt bring myself to speak as I looked around the room at all the important people in my life, all of the people who have stuck with me even when I was possibly an evil undead monster... They never gave up on me...

And from this moment, for the rest of my life I would do everything for these people, they were all my family, my life and I wouldprotect them with everything I was.


	24. INTERMISSION

**Hey my loyal readers :)**

**So I believe I have come to a pause in my story, Im going to hold it there and continue with my new story for a little bit. **

**I may or maynot continue with this one so for now... This is an intermission :)**

**Xox Lexie Belikova**


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